The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

No Mohawks for Jefferson

Posted on | March 31, 2012 | 13 Comments

Longtime commenter T.R. Sterling sends along this news item as fair warning for my redheaded son:

Derrill Rockwell told police he grabbed his rifle, the .22-caliber he kept handy to kill rodents around the house, about 5 a.m. Oct. 5 and walked outside to confront it.
The bird.
Possibly, he told police, the same fowl he suspected of harassing his cats recently around his home near Orchard Mesa Cemetery.
It was red, sitting at the top of a hill about 90 feet away from Rockwell.
“His intent was to spook it away,” Deputy District Attorney Jason Conley told District Judge Richard Gurley on Friday.
Rockwell shot once but said he didn’t see the bird fly away. Soon after, he heard a woman’s voice, moaning in pain. Rockwell discovered a 23-year-old woman, with a large red mohawk, with a gunshot wound to the head. . . .
Six days after the shooting, Rockwell told . . . police detectives . . . he fired the weapon after confusing the woman’s red mohawk hairstyle for a distant bird.

Category: humor

Comments

13 Responses to “No Mohawks for Jefferson”

  1. richard mcenroe
    March 31st, 2012 @ 5:31 pm

    The really important advice here, Jefferson: NEVER SILHOUETTE YOURSELF ON A HILLTOP. 

    Oh, and don’t do drugs.

    Or get stoopid haircuts.

    Or shoot at stuff you can’t see clearly.

    Those are bad too.

  2. scarymatt
    March 31st, 2012 @ 5:51 pm

    Marshall Skin rides again…

  3. Tr_sterling
    March 31st, 2012 @ 6:45 pm

    🙂

     

  4. JeffS
    March 31st, 2012 @ 8:18 pm

    Try the Telly Savalas look, Jefferson.

  5. Adjoran
    March 31st, 2012 @ 10:00 pm

     I hate it when they don’t bother to get the whole story.  The really interesting thing would be what the heck was she doing on the hillside at 5 a.m.?

  6. richard mcenroe
    March 31st, 2012 @ 10:03 pm

     I’m guessing the packet of crystal meth is what they call a ‘clue’ on them CSI shows.

  7. Taxpayer1234
    April 1st, 2012 @ 12:41 am

    Gingers get sunburned easily. Exposing your scalp to the sun is not a good idea, Jefferson. Plus, your mom might chase you around with the SP50 in front of your friends–which could really kill your cool quotient.

  8. DaveO
    April 1st, 2012 @ 10:32 am

    Second rule of shooting: absolute, positive target ID.

    No beak? No bullet. Period.

  9. richard mcenroe
    April 1st, 2012 @ 12:04 pm

     Doesn’t help much in the ME.  Have you seen the schnozzes on those people?

  10. Bob Belvedere
    April 1st, 2012 @ 5:37 pm

    Who loves ya, baby.

  11. Bob Belvedere
    April 1st, 2012 @ 5:39 pm

    My wife’s now dead boss was part ginger and Irish. He wore his hair so short, with no hat, and developed bad skin cancer on his his head.  Be careful Master Jefferson.

  12. Evi L. Bloggerlady
    April 1st, 2012 @ 5:41 pm

    Waiting for the sun to come up so she could crow?  The drugs mess with your head that way.  

    The shooter screwed up.  He should know what he is shooting at.  

  13. Taxpayer1234
    April 1st, 2012 @ 7:27 pm

    Good point. My dad was 100% Irish ginger. He’d cook like a lobster in the sun, so he was pretty good about covering up.