The Other McCain

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Rick Pitino Discovers the Unsurprising Hazards of Screwing Crazy Women

Posted on | July 28, 2010 | 18 Comments

When you’re a famous basketball coach hired for a new job, perhaps the orientation process should require that you watch a video called, “Crazy Women and Your Penis: A Bad Combination.”

It is fair to stipulate that any woman who offers sexual favors to a man she just met is crazy. And when she starts doing you under the table in the middle of a restaurant, we’re talking world-class crazy:

Louisville basketball coach Rick Pitino told a jury Wednesday that a woman accused of demanding millions from him had sex with him after whispering to him and unzipping his pants in an empty Italian restaurant.
Pitino testified Wednesday that he met Karen Cunagin Sypher on July 31, 2003, at the restaurant where he’d gone following a golf outing.
Pitino said he bought Sypher a drink and the two exchanged small talk after the restaurant closed.
When he got up to leave, Pitino said she whispered something, opened his pants and the two then had sex “very briefly.”
“Unfortunate things happen,” Pitino said.

Yeah. “Unfortunate things” like that happen all the time to rich famous guys who don’t avoid crazy women. And as testimony made clear, this woman had crazy written all over her:

Margaret Cameron, a former professional golfer, testified she was having dinner at Porcini when she ran into Pitino’s entourage and began a conversation. Sypher barged into the group, Cameron said, and thrust her cell phone at Pitino asking for the coach to talk to one of her sons.
“She wasn’t going to give up,” Cameron said. “She wasn’t going to stop.”
Bartender Melissa Brent testified that Pitino’s group were regulars at the restaurant and appeared to be having a good time in a corner of the restaurant when Sypher — wearing a white top with a short white skirt — attempted to “edge herself into the scene.”

You see what I mean? Not all women who wear short skirts are crazy, but when a woman in a short skirt introduces herself in a restaurant by shoving a cell phone in your face and, next thing you know, she’s unzipping your pants, your Crazy Woman Early Warning System ought to pick up the signals.

Rick Pitino has probably asked himself the question, “What went wrong with my Crazy Woman Early Warning System that night?” I think we might guess it had something to do with the fact that “Pitino and his friends drank about $500 worth of alcohol over about four hours on July 31st, 2003.”

Yeah. That’s gonna do the trick every time.

OK, so what happens next in this predictably disastrous Coen Brothers movie scenario? The crazy woman hooks up with her Scummy Low-Rent Ex-Boyfriend who, in this case, is named Lester Goetzinger:

Goetzinger said he met Sypher while on the job as a utility repairman in 1994.  He said they remained friends for several years until 1999 when their relationship turned sexual.
After splitting up in 2002, Goetzinger says they reconnected at a U of L game in 2005 and resumed their affair a year later.  He says on February 25, 2009 they had oral sex the day before she told him Pitino had raped her twice in 2003.
Goetzinger says Sypher “begged and pleaded” with him to call Pitino and that she wanted a house and at least $200,000 from him.  He says Sypher even told him to make the calls from a pay phone so they would not be traced and to mention the words “rape” and “abortion.”

Scummy Low-Rent Boyfriend Goetzinger was obedient to her Crazy Woman commands:

Let’s point out that Sypher later married — and has since divorced — one of Pitino’s assistant coaches, Tim Sypher:

Sypher talked of regretting two abortions — one after the Pitino encounters in 2003, and another in 2004, after she started dating Tim Sypher, whom she later married. On the tape, she says, “I’m a double murderer.”

You’re also nuttier than a Snickers bar, and Rick Pitino’s “unfortunate” involvement with you ought to be a warning to men everywhere.

Category: Crime, Kentucky, Scandal, Sex

Comments

18 Responses to “Rick Pitino Discovers the Unsurprising Hazards of Screwing Crazy Women”

  1. ECM
    July 28th, 2010 @ 9:17 pm

    The good news in all of this is it proves I’m still capable of shock and disgust when I had long since figured I was tapped out.

  2. ECM
    July 28th, 2010 @ 5:17 pm

    The good news in all of this is it proves I’m still capable of shock and disgust when I had long since figured I was tapped out.

  3. brad essex
    July 28th, 2010 @ 9:55 pm

    thank you for that i now know the warning signs to get away from a crazy girl.

  4. brad essex
    July 28th, 2010 @ 5:55 pm

    thank you for that i now know the warning signs to get away from a crazy girl.

  5. Largebill
    July 28th, 2010 @ 10:00 pm

    It’s all semantics. What one person calls “crazy” another might call “excessively hospitable”

  6. Largebill
    July 28th, 2010 @ 6:00 pm

    It’s all semantics. What one person calls “crazy” another might call “excessively hospitable”

  7. Thrasymachus
    July 28th, 2010 @ 10:42 pm

    I met a woman a few years ago and it was immediately apparent she was crazy. I dropped her but have regretted since; other than being crazy she had many good qualities. Considering this story maybe I made the right decision. I will always remember fondly our brief time together, I haven’t met a woman like that before or since.

  8. Thrasymachus
    July 28th, 2010 @ 6:42 pm

    I met a woman a few years ago and it was immediately apparent she was crazy. I dropped her but have regretted since; other than being crazy she had many good qualities. Considering this story maybe I made the right decision. I will always remember fondly our brief time together, I haven’t met a woman like that before or since.

  9. Rich Fader
    July 28th, 2010 @ 11:39 pm

    “Coach, your wife is not coming through that door.”

  10. Rich Fader
    July 28th, 2010 @ 7:39 pm

    “Coach, your wife is not coming through that door.”

  11. Obi's Sister
    July 29th, 2010 @ 12:00 am

    The (now former) UGA AD had a malfunctioning Crazy Woman Early Warning System as well. (Perhaps a recall is in order? The red panties in his lap when he was pulled over didn’t help.

  12. Obi's Sister
    July 28th, 2010 @ 8:00 pm

    The (now former) UGA AD had a malfunctioning Crazy Woman Early Warning System as well. (Perhaps a recall is in order? The red panties in his lap when he was pulled over didn’t help.

  13. Been There, Done That
    July 29th, 2010 @ 12:41 am

    This is proof that human male cognitive functions are over-ridden by their regenerative organs.

    Not that women need such proof, of course. This is more of a wake up call to my fellow males……

  14. Been There, Done That
    July 28th, 2010 @ 8:41 pm

    This is proof that human male cognitive functions are over-ridden by their regenerative organs.

    Not that women need such proof, of course. This is more of a wake up call to my fellow males……

  15. Your Blog Headline of the year? | The Daley Gator
    July 28th, 2010 @ 9:22 pm

    […] Posted on July 28, 2010 by Gatordoug RS McCain, is a blogging genius, and overall good guy and this headline caught my eye! Rick Pitino Discovers the Unsurprising Hazards of Screwing Crazy Women When you’re […]

  16. Randy Rager
    July 29th, 2010 @ 1:55 am

    No wonder we haven’t seen gg or young4eyes lately! She’s busy in court.

  17. Randy Rager
    July 28th, 2010 @ 9:55 pm

    No wonder we haven’t seen gg or young4eyes lately! She’s busy in court.

  18. The Crazy Woman Early Warning System « The Camp Of The Saints
    July 29th, 2010 @ 2:32 pm

    […] wise sage of the Rightosphere, Stacy McCain has the details of the testimony so far and comments: …Not all women who wear short skirts are crazy, but […]