The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

What Florida Hath Wrought: Will Christmas Be in Iowa or New Hampshire?

Geographers have long noted that the Florida peninsula hangs off the East Coast of the United States like a small, limp penis. The metaphorical significance was made manifest Friday morning when what I’ve come to regard as “The Evil State” announced that it was moving its primary to Jan. 31, prompting a memorable reaction from Iowa GOP Chairman […]

Florida: The Evil State

Last night on Fox News, Rick Santorum alluded to the fact that Rick Perry supporter Dean Cannon is one of the Florida GOP leaders pushing to move up their primary. Santorum did not, however, refer to the growing suspicion among many Americans that the so-called “Florida Republican Party” is actually a terrorist cell organized by clandestine agents […]

At Least One Florida Republican Party Official Who Is Not Batsh*t Crazy

“Sunshine State Sarah” reprints an e-mail from Republican National Committeeman Paul Senft: Republicans have always been law abiding people who obey the rules. If we don’t want to go by the rules — if we want to be arrogant and only abide by the rules we like or agree with — then we should consider […]

Insert Obscene Epithets Here

G–d— bastards in Florida threaten to f–k up everything: Florida will likely hold Jan. primary, threatening presidential calendar Never mind how this dumbass stunt could affect the Republican primary outcome. If those bats–t crazy motherf–kers do this, I’ll be spending Christmas in Iowa. Not since the five-week recount in 2000 will political reporters have had […]

Herman Cain on Obama: ‘I’m Listening to All This Bulls–t That He’s Talking About’

The winner of the Florida straw poll gets “worked up” in an interview with my young friend Chris Moody: After a few caffeine-heavy refills at our corner table, I asked him about President Obama’s new effort to raise taxes on the wealthy, and Cain just about blew a blood vessel–especially when I mentioned the part […]

From Marco Rubio to Herman Cain: How the Crist Factor Hurt Perry in Florida

Marco Rubio and Sarah Rumpf Sarah Rumpf helped facilitate Florida state Rep. Scott Plakon’s endorsement of Herman Cain, which in turn helped Cain score his crushing upset of Texas Gov. Rick Perry in Saturday’s Orlando “Presidency5” straw poll. Today, I spoke at length with “Sunshine State Sarah” to get the backstory of that endorsement, and […]

Dear Bill Kristol …

PLEASE SHUT THE HELL UP ABOUT CHRIS CHRISTIE! Seriously, you’re starting to piss me off here, with your . . . idiotic assertion that the 37 percent of Florida straw-poll delegates who voted for Herman Cain were voting for “none of the above.” Did you notice that little . . . pause, Bill? Kind of a hint, […]

Buzzard Bait: Rick Perry’s Immigration Blunder Took Him From Hero to Zero

Donald Douglas at American Power links an important story from the Los Angeles Times: Perry has “a surprisingly tin ear” on the immigration issue, said Tony Fabrizio, a Republican strategist who is unaligned in the presidential contest. To most Republicans, denying tuition subsidies to illegal immigrants “is a question of fairness,” said Fabrizio. He added […]

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