Thugland, USA: Baseball Fan Brutally Attacked Outside Dodger Stadium
A 42-year-old paramedic is hospitalized with critical head injuries after he was savagely stomped in the parking lot while leaving a Dodgers-Giants game last week. The injured man, a father of two young children, is a Giants fan and the Los Angeles Times depicts this atrocity as a sports-rivalry-gone-wrong. But Southern California blogger Donald Douglas […]
Obama’s NCAA Bracket, Revisited
Tonight, UConn meets the Cinderella boys of Butler in the NCAA basketball championship and, with the finalists set, I decided to take a look back at Obama’s brackets. The first thing to note is how “safe” Obama played it: He picked all four No. 1 regional seeds to make it all the way to the […]
Jerry Wilson and the Kandy-Kolored Tangerine-Flake Streamline Dream Job
Getting paid to write about NASCAR? Dude, some things are so unfair they ought to be against the law. Jerry Wilson: America’s Luckiest Blogger. Remind me to call around to some magazine editors this afternoon and see if anyone needs a full-time columnist to provide them with in-depth coverage of NCAA cheerleaders and barbecue ribs. […]
Female Reporter Claims Brett Favre Sent Her Photos of Himself Masturbating
TV sports personality Jenn Sterger says NFL quarterback Brett Favre sent her cell-phone photos of himself masturbating in 2008, according to a report at the blog Deadspin. The startling allegations about Favre — a married father of two whose first grandchild was born in April — have threatened to overshadow recent reports that the 11-time Pro Bowl quarterback is finally […]
Sad Ending for USA in the Quadrennial ‘Let’s Make Fun of Foreigners’ Festival
Third World 2 Effete Pansies 1 American imperialism ain’t what it used to be: RUSTENBURG, South Africa — In the end, the U.S. team was undone by what had haunted the Americans throughout the World Cup. By giving up early goals, the Americans fell to Ghana 2-1 on Saturday and were knocked out of the […]
VIDEO: The Miracle on Grass
American Imperialists 1, Third World 0 Why is Fox Sports hiring neurasthenic wienies like Jason Whitlock? The World Cup narrows our view and, more than any other sporting event, baits us to give in to nationalism, jingoism and racism. It’s not the Olympics. Not everyone is invited. And no one pretends the month of World […]
USA! USA! USA!
America was three minutes away from being eliminated from the World Cup when midfielder Landon Donovan scored in overtime to give the U.S. team a 1-0 victory over Algeria. Remember: Soccer is for foreigners and faggots. However, fist-pumping jingoistic nationalism — and defeating impoverished Third World countries — is for red-blooded Americans. UPDATE: I’ve decided to […]
World Cup: ¡Va La Argentina!
Argentina got second-half goals from Martin Demichelis and Martin Palermo to defeat Greece 2-0, advancing to a round-of-16 match against Mexico. Your average Argentine soccer fan hates Mexico in a way that would horrify Sheriff Joe Arpaio. Argentina totally dominated Group B — scoring 7 goals to their opponents’ one — and against Greece, controlled the ball by a 2-to-1 […]
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