The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

Celebrity News Update: Lindsay Lohan’s Large Breasts Make Bail, Skip Jail

Posted on | May 21, 2010 | 15 Comments

Sorry, guys, that “Lindsay Goes to Prison” cable-TV series is still just part of your sick imagination:

Lindsay Lohan got a tongue-lashing Thursday from an L.A. County judge after the actress failed to appear in court for a hearing, instead remaining in France at the Cannes Film Festival.
While dozens of reporters and camera crews converged on the Beverly Hills courthouse, Lohan was in France after a week of red-carpet premieres and yacht parties, her moves captured by the paparazzi.
The actress was scheduled for a mandatory court appearance in Los Angeles County Superior Court so a judge could review the status of her probation from a 2007 conviction for driving under the influence.
When Lohan didn’t show up, a clearly frustrated Judge Marsha N. Revel issued an arrest warrant for the 23-year-old performer. . . .
After the hearing, it appeared likely either that authorities would arrest Lohan when she arrived in Los Angeles or that her attorney would immediately have the actress surrender to a law enforcement agency. But Thursday afternoon, officials announced that Lohan’s attorney had posted 10% of her $100,000 bail and that the arrest warrant had been recalled. . . .

So ex-lesbian Lindsay won’t be starring in the orange-jumpsuit-and-handcuffs MTV melodrama, “Celebrity Babe Lockdown,” anytime soon — except in your twisted pathetic dreams.

In other sleazy, superficial, sensationalist celebrity news:

Celebrity gossip via WeSmirch; sleazy snark via my own twisted pathetic imagination.

Category: Celebrities, Crime, Rule 5

Comments

15 Responses to “Celebrity News Update: Lindsay Lohan’s Large Breasts Make Bail, Skip Jail”

  1. RightGirl
    May 21st, 2010 @ 7:07 pm

    Tongue lashing! Very titillating!

    RG

  2. RightGirl
    May 21st, 2010 @ 2:07 pm

    Tongue lashing! Very titillating!

    RG

  3. Lyndsey
    May 21st, 2010 @ 7:28 pm

    My you really are peddling the smut today!

  4. Lyndsey
    May 21st, 2010 @ 2:28 pm

    My you really are peddling the smut today!

  5. Robert Stacy McCain
    May 21st, 2010 @ 7:40 pm

    My you really are peddling the smut today!

    Turn on Entertainment Tonight or pick up People magazine, and you’ll get the same slimy news, sponsored by advertisements from major American corporations. If people want this stuff — and evidently they do — why should we let the MSM have a monopoly on it?

    At least I’m warning of the herpes risk of skank-chasing.

  6. Robert Stacy McCain
    May 21st, 2010 @ 2:40 pm

    My you really are peddling the smut today!

    Turn on Entertainment Tonight or pick up People magazine, and you’ll get the same slimy news, sponsored by advertisements from major American corporations. If people want this stuff — and evidently they do — why should we let the MSM have a monopoly on it?

    At least I’m warning of the herpes risk of skank-chasing.

  7. Anwar al-Awlaki
    May 21st, 2010 @ 8:46 pm

    I have been busy giving out fatwas and denoucements all day over these jokers drawing the Prophet Mohammed (P.B.U.H.), but then I came across these crazy Lindsay Lohan posts. No, No, No.

    You just earned yourself a fatwa.

    Go back to posting about Alyssa Milano. I follow her twitter posts. She is just delightful. I would love to add her to my lists of wives, Insh’allah.

  8. Anwar al-Awlaki
    May 21st, 2010 @ 3:46 pm

    I have been busy giving out fatwas and denoucements all day over these jokers drawing the Prophet Mohammed (P.B.U.H.), but then I came across these crazy Lindsay Lohan posts. No, No, No.

    You just earned yourself a fatwa.

    Go back to posting about Alyssa Milano. I follow her twitter posts. She is just delightful. I would love to add her to my lists of wives, Insh’allah.

  9. Anwar al-Awlaki
    May 21st, 2010 @ 8:47 pm

    Tweet.

  10. Anwar al-Awlaki
    May 21st, 2010 @ 3:47 pm

    Tweet.

  11. Dave C
    May 21st, 2010 @ 8:53 pm

    You mean to tell me that the woman who shared Hef (as if the old geezer isn’t bad enough) with two other women made a lesbian sex tape?

    Shocker of shockers..

  12. Dave C
    May 21st, 2010 @ 3:53 pm

    You mean to tell me that the woman who shared Hef (as if the old geezer isn’t bad enough) with two other women made a lesbian sex tape?

    Shocker of shockers..

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    May 21st, 2010 @ 8:18 pm

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