The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

Dear 5th Circuit …

Posted on | April 4, 2012 | 14 Comments

by Smitty

So, like, this is a response to your way totally uptight letter dated April III, MMXII. Noting that it was dated, you know, April III, we figured that this was three times an April Fool’s joke, or something.

And so we’re including with this little memo your three single-spaced pages. Yeah, you might think “They’re blank!”, and stuff. But we worked totally hard to get a single space character on each one. Get it? Single spaced? Welcome to the ‘space age’ DOJ, Mike Foxtrot! I know you guys were all spun up, and thought you were gonna rich slap* us, but we figured you left us a totally easy out for a reason.

After all, you wouldn’t want to hassle us and cut into our party time, and whatnot. We’re just getting wrecked over here doing all of this political stuff for the re-election. People harshing our mellow with all these Fast & Furious questions, FOIA gras requests, like we’re some kind of a French restaurant or something. See what we did there?

Man, we don’t care what you guys in the 5th do with bouncing laws. Congress is paid by the law; they’ll just throw together some more crap like ObamaCare. Just as long as you make sure the ones you bounce are the ones we want you bouncing. Are you smelling what we’re stepping in?

Now save all your non-triumphant attitude for the next Republican administration, which will be. . .ha! We’ve got that rigged, and don’t worry your pretty heads how. There won’t be another Republican administration, and you won’t be getting your nose dislocated about the Administration’s opinions. Or maybe you will.

Cordially,
D. L. Kaersvang.

*The maneuver formerly known as ‘bitch-slapping’, but which has been newly toned into a slam on the 1%.

Comments

14 Responses to “Dear 5th Circuit …”

  1. Bob Belvedere
    April 4th, 2012 @ 9:49 am

    The Snark-O-Meter hits eleven!

  2. PaulLemmen
    April 4th, 2012 @ 10:02 am

    I wouldn’t put this kind of back channel response past these elitists. My article concerning the direction this admin (and our deluded and indolent society) are taking is here: http://t.co/txMPcezi. I hope anyone who actually reads it enjoys the research that went into it.

  3. Obama Goes To The Mattresses* « The Camp Of The Saints
    April 4th, 2012 @ 11:26 am

    […] at The Other McCain, the Snark-O-Meter hits eleven as Smitty publishes the first draft of the Administration’s response to Judge Smith. Well […]

  4. SOYLENT GREEN
    April 4th, 2012 @ 1:53 pm

    Duuuude. Did, like, Iowahawk steal your identity. That’s like smokin’ some primo herb and stuff.
    Oh well, gotta go redact some FOIA requests…if I didn’t like already lose them, right? Later.

  5. Mikey NTH
    April 4th, 2012 @ 2:01 pm

    Dear D.L. Kaersvang:

    Only the Coast Guard looks good in orange suits.

    Regards,
    5th Circuit

  6. Adjoran
    April 4th, 2012 @ 2:34 pm

    I think the judge was fully within his rights.  When you have the boss of a party trying a case before you going on national television and essentially saying you have no or limited jurisdiction over him, and hinting he may seek to attack the independent judiciary through his angry mobs of ignorant supporters filled with rage and blood lust,  it certainly makes sense to ask them to clarify what he meant before proceeding.

  7. A Guy From Lithia Springs
    April 4th, 2012 @ 2:54 pm

    Looks like the POTUS struck a nerve.     And sort of smoked out the judicial activism he warned against……bravo!

  8. Taxpayer1234
    April 4th, 2012 @ 3:20 pm

    LOL!

  9. SDN
    April 4th, 2012 @ 5:10 pm

    Yeah, and in your world Spock has a beard.

    Voiding un-Constitutional laws != activism.

  10. Bob Belvedere
    April 4th, 2012 @ 5:34 pm

    We do try to maintain certain standards around here, especially when it comes to spelling.

    So, in future, please spell your handle correctly: A Guy From Lithium Springs.

    You’ll never see the fnords if you maintain such low standards.

  11. A Guy From Lithia Springs
    April 4th, 2012 @ 6:39 pm

     Lithia Springs is simply wonderful.   Ask your fearless leader……..

  12. Adobe_Walls
    April 4th, 2012 @ 8:00 pm

    Please tell me that they are actually stupid enough to “attack the independent judiciary through his angry mobs of ignorant supporters filled with rage and blood lust,”

  13. Adobe_Walls
    April 4th, 2012 @ 8:03 pm

    In his world Spock is not a fictional character.

  14. Adobe_Walls
    April 4th, 2012 @ 8:03 pm

    Nice.