Celebrity Meltdown Update
Posted on | April 4, 2010 | 14 Comments
Because of incessant political crises since Jan. 20, 2009, we haven’t been keeping up with the paparazzi-plagued faces of fame as much as we’d like, so let’s see if we can fill the gap:
- A moving van was seen hauling furniture and boxes out of the home once shared by Sandra Bullock and Jesse James. There has been no word on the success (or failure) of Jesse’s attempted recovery from skank addiction.
- Bruce Springsteen shagged a 45-year-old Jersey housewife. Bruce and Jesse are comparing notes on the declining quality of celebrity groupies.
- Security was beefed up at the Masters Golf Tournament, due to fears of a stampede by Tiger Woods’ mistresses. Public-health officials in Augusta warned of a potential outbreak of Cablinasian fever.
- Miley Cyrus, 17, is moving into her own home, which she describes as “a very loving place.” No word yet on whether Bruce, Jesse and Tiger have been invited to Miley’s housewarming party.
- Lawyers for Dr. Conrad Murray, charged with administering the fatal overdose of Propofol that killed Michael Jackson, will argue that the singer injected himself.
- Someone released a raw tape of Jennifer Lopez mangling a song. Listeners responded by flooding the phone lines of Dr. Conrad Murray, begging for fatal injections of Propofol.
All headlines via WeSmirch.
Category: Celebrities
Comments
14 Responses to “Celebrity Meltdown Update”
April 4th, 2010 @ 8:54 pm
[…] April 4, 2010 Culture Leave a Comment Tags: J Lo sining, Jennifer Lopez We have celebrity meltdowns! Perhaps most interesting to me is the proof that J Lo is a non-talented […]
April 5th, 2010 @ 3:29 am
HEH! That J-Lo stuff is funny…
But, I have to rant about this one:
Seriously. What the fark kind of English is that?!?!?!?!? I hear Ol’ Zo over at PJTV saying that stupid stuff… really chill…. God Lord almighty! SPEAK ENGLISH PEOPLE! Not Negro stupidity please!
That is all. 🙄
April 4th, 2010 @ 10:29 pm
HEH! That J-Lo stuff is funny…
But, I have to rant about this one:
Seriously. What the fark kind of English is that?!?!?!?!? I hear Ol’ Zo over at PJTV saying that stupid stuff… really chill…. God Lord almighty! SPEAK ENGLISH PEOPLE! Not Negro stupidity please!
That is all. 🙄
April 5th, 2010 @ 3:39 am
Come to think of it. I don’t even think that’s Negro talk! Because I’ve never heard that silly “really chill” crap, until I started listening to Zo’s stuff. I guess that must be a California thing; because I’ve never heard people from Michigan saying that sort of silly stuff.
The point is, that it sounds like farking valley girl talk….Like gag me with a spoon man.
🙄
Just sayin’ Ya’ll just sayin’…..
April 4th, 2010 @ 10:39 pm
Come to think of it. I don’t even think that’s Negro talk! Because I’ve never heard that silly “really chill” crap, until I started listening to Zo’s stuff. I guess that must be a California thing; because I’ve never heard people from Michigan saying that sort of silly stuff.
The point is, that it sounds like farking valley girl talk….Like gag me with a spoon man.
🙄
Just sayin’ Ya’ll just sayin’…..
April 5th, 2010 @ 7:09 am
[…] wonder if they will hit Bruce Springsteen over his affair. I don’t know how many of Tigers women were […]
April 5th, 2010 @ 12:15 pm
Patrick, far be it from me to play the role of PC enforcer, but . . . well, let’s not give Charles Johnson so much to work with, IYKWIMAITYD.
April 5th, 2010 @ 7:15 am
Patrick, far be it from me to play the role of PC enforcer, but . . . well, let’s not give Charles Johnson so much to work with, IYKWIMAITYD.
April 5th, 2010 @ 1:46 pm
When I got the front tag for my truck all those years ago, “chill” was a verb, not an adjective.
Now I feel like I need to put a disclaimer on the damn thing.
April 5th, 2010 @ 8:46 am
When I got the front tag for my truck all those years ago, “chill” was a verb, not an adjective.
Now I feel like I need to put a disclaimer on the damn thing.
April 5th, 2010 @ 8:45 pm
April 5th, 2010 @ 3:45 pm
April 5th, 2010 @ 8:46 pm
Sorry. 🙁
April 5th, 2010 @ 3:46 pm
Sorry. 🙁