The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

If @PiersMorgan Hates America So Much, Why Won’t He Just Leave the Country?

Posted on | December 20, 2013 | 35 Comments

Piers Morgan is allegedly heterosexual, so it’s not a hate crime to disagree with CNN’s unpopular 9 p.m. host, whose third-place show got only 361,000 viewers Wednesday, compared to 712,000 for MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow and 2.6 million for Fox’s Megyn Kelly.

Fourteen million people watch Duck Dynasty and maybe their contract means A&E “can do everything except torture you,” but Phil Robertson’s disapproval of homosexuality was not secret. Exactly how does the network expect to benefit by banishing the stars of their most popular show in order to appease the intolerant scolds who say the “rights” of a tiny minority should trump every other consideration?

So rednecks need to be politically correct now?
Wait, before the National Association of Rednecked Persons attacks me, let me be clear that I don’t mean “redneck” as an insult. Indeed, Redneck Pride has been on the rise ever since Jeff Foxworthy got rich informing people they “might be a redneck.”
Redneck reality shows have been all the rage: “Rocket City Rednecks,” ‘‘Hillbilly Handfishin’?” and, of course, “Swamp People.” But the gold standard is “Duck Dynasty,” which follows the Robertsons, a family that struck it rich selling duck calls. It’s like a real-life version of “The Beverly Hillbillies.” All of the men look like they stepped out of the Hatfield-McCoy conflict to smoke a corncob pipe.
What all of these reality shows have in common is their shock value. . . .
But here’s a twist. Phil Robertson (who — shhh! — has a master’s degree from Louisiana Tech) gave an interview to GQ in which he said that, as a Christian, he has problems with homosexuality. He got a bit too detailed with his anatomical analysis. But his real sin was calling homosexuality a sin comparable with bestiality.

What’s all the outrage about? Could someone please check the Official Federal Analogy Guidelines, because I seem to have misplaced my copy and wouldn’t want to commit a civil rights violation by publishing a forbidden metaphor or simile. Criminalizing figures of speech enables pompous twits like Piers Morgan — who are not  actually members of victimized minorities — to act as hall monitors, pointing the accusatory finger at people who say controversial things, thus to demonstrate their moral superiority to those who do not share their umbrage.

“How dare you not condemn Phil Robertson!”

What are we permitted to say without being accused of hate?

Is it an insult to rectal sphincters to call Piers Morgan an asshole?

 

 

UPDATE: Buy all your Duck Commander products through our Amazon Associates link here — A&E won’t get a cent of that money!

 


Category: CNN

Comments

35 Responses to “If @PiersMorgan Hates America So Much, Why Won’t He Just Leave the Country?”

  1. EricMcCurdy
    December 20th, 2013 @ 3:51 pm

    RT @smitty_one_each: TOM If @PiersMorgan Hates America So Much, Why Won’t He Just Leave the Country? http://t.co/10kM4ffpuy #TCOT

  2. The Wisdom of Duck Dynasty: Or who are the real BSC ones? Update: The Gay Mafia does a hit on Duck Dynasty | Batshit Crazy News
    December 20th, 2013 @ 2:56 pm

    […]  Piers Morgan will be a queer duck to show what a H8er Duck Dynasty are… (okay I am […]

  3. Evi L. Bloggerlady
    December 20th, 2013 @ 2:58 pm

    Why doesn’t Piers Morgan dress as a big queer duck and wander around the swamps of Louisiana? Reality tv I could support!

  4. Oeberon
    December 20th, 2013 @ 3:01 pm

    “Is it an insult to rectal sphincters to call Piers Morgan an asshole?”

    Seeing as how they both emit the same kind of foulness, I don’t believe it to be an insult to sphincters. And so, in honor of Piers Morgan, I’ve just named my sphincter after him. From this point forward, all noises emitting from said region will be referred to as, “Silence! Piers Morgan is speaking!” or “Piers Morgan has spoken!”

  5. Evi L. Bloggerlady
    December 20th, 2013 @ 3:18 pm

    http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-0TSWkwInXqg/UrSltw_n1PI/AAAAAAAAeEc/xCpBRVXdzc0/s1600/Capture.PNG

  6. PaMom4Palin
    December 20th, 2013 @ 3:35 pm

    RT @rsmccain: If @PiersMorgan Hates America So Much, Why Won’t He Just Leave the Country? http://t.co/BvJ9QYlnmg #IStandWithPhil

  7. Joe Dokes
    December 20th, 2013 @ 3:59 pm

    Answer: Because this is where the money is.

  8. JoyKeller1
    December 20th, 2013 @ 4:06 pm

    If @PiersMorgan Hates America So Much, Why Won’t He Just Leave the Country? http://t.co/IXH3Onc4H1

  9. EvieZeno
    December 20th, 2013 @ 4:09 pm

    RT @rsmccain: If @PiersMorgan Hates America So Much, Why Won’t He Just Leave the Country? http://t.co/BvJ9QYlnmg #IStandWithPhil

  10. Frances_D
    December 20th, 2013 @ 5:03 pm

    If @PiersMorgan Hates America So Much, Why Won’t He Just Leave the Country? http://t.co/tLaYMDy3lG

  11. rsmccain
    December 20th, 2013 @ 5:25 pm

    References to @PiersMorgan should always mention his pathetically low ratings. http://t.co/BvJ9QYlnmg @theMRC

  12. KenInEastman
    December 20th, 2013 @ 5:26 pm

    RT @rsmccain: References to @PiersMorgan should always mention his pathetically low ratings. http://t.co/BvJ9QYlnmg @theMRC

  13. TenquidOk
    December 20th, 2013 @ 5:27 pm

    RT @rsmccain: References to @PiersMorgan should always mention his pathetically low ratings. http://t.co/BvJ9QYlnmg @theMRC

  14. instapundit
    December 20th, 2013 @ 5:27 pm

    RT @rsmccain: References to @PiersMorgan should always mention his pathetically low ratings. http://t.co/BvJ9QYlnmg @theMRC

  15. HauteJaune
    December 20th, 2013 @ 5:30 pm

    RT @rsmccain: References to @PiersMorgan should always mention his pathetically low ratings. http://t.co/BvJ9QYlnmg @theMRC

  16. DocWashburn
    December 20th, 2013 @ 5:35 pm

    RT @rsmccain: References to @PiersMorgan should always mention his pathetically low ratings. http://t.co/BvJ9QYlnmg @theMRC

  17. tomASSstyle
    December 20th, 2013 @ 5:43 pm

    RT @rsmccain: References to @PiersMorgan should always mention his pathetically low ratings. http://t.co/BvJ9QYlnmg @theMRC

  18. rsmccain
    December 20th, 2013 @ 5:49 pm

    @TN_SmartGirl Remember, whenever you mention @piersmorgan, be sure to cite his pathetically low ratings. http://t.co/BvJ9QYlnmg

  19. TN_SmartGirl
    December 20th, 2013 @ 6:02 pm

    RT @rsmccain: @TN_SmartGirl Remember, whenever you mention @piersmorgan, be sure to cite his pathetically low ratings. http://t.co/BvJ9QYln…

  20. Adjoran
    December 20th, 2013 @ 6:28 pm

    Where would Morgan go?

    Remember, Piers was FIRED by the Mirror, where as Editor he knowingly used faked photos to implicate British soldiers in atrocities in Iraq. So going home isn’t likely to be an option.

    Not surprising he draws a small audience since it is established that he is willing to lie to them to advance his personal political agenda. If Wednesday’s numbers you cite are typical, Piers has 1/7 the audience of Megyn Kelly, and only 1/39 that of Duck Dynasty.

    But it is CNN . . . their White House “correspondent” asked Obama a hard-hitting question at the presser today. Guess what it was? On ObamaCare? Nope. Iran? Nope. NSA? Nope.

    “Mr. President – any New Year’s Resolutions?”

  21. PubliusNV
    December 20th, 2013 @ 6:54 pm

    If @PiersMorgan Hates America So Much, Why Won’t He Just Leave the Country? http://t.co/EbnLYJg8hJ

  22. CarolinaGirl3
    December 20th, 2013 @ 7:13 pm

    I don’t suppose his answer was “resign for the good of the nation”?

  23. CarolinaGirl3
    December 20th, 2013 @ 7:17 pm

    Morgan is a woefully ignorant flamethrower who somehow believes that there will a shiny day when he says something that will finally get him those bit ratings he believes he deserves. He made a big deal of getting 3,000,000 Twitter followers – I tweeted back asking him why none of them watch his show.

    If he were a blogger, his name would be Charles Johnson.

  24. If @PiersMorgan Hates America So Much, Why Won’t He Just Leave the Country? | Dead Citizen's Rights Society
    December 20th, 2013 @ 7:42 pm

    […] If @PiersMorgan Hates America So Much, Why Won’t He Just Leave the Country? […]

  25. Alessandra
    December 20th, 2013 @ 7:52 pm

    Where would Morgan go?

    Surely there’s a place in the White House.

  26. Quartermaster
    December 20th, 2013 @ 7:53 pm

    “Is it an insult to rectal sphincters to call Piers Morgan an asshole?”

    Yes. Unless you are talking about the Kimberlin chapter of said rectal sphincters, then it’s fair game.

  27. Alessandra
    December 20th, 2013 @ 7:56 pm

    I love how liberals, who are behind and in front of the production of every sleazy, crude program on TV, are getting all huffy about “crudeness.”

  28. DaveO
    December 20th, 2013 @ 8:14 pm

    If Piers Morgan left America, the British police and courts would like to talk to him about his part in hacking the phones of British politicos, and a fellow named Jimmy Savile (who’s #1 enabler runs the NYT, btw).

  29. Nolanelle
    December 20th, 2013 @ 8:49 pm

    RT @rsmccain: References to @PiersMorgan should always mention his pathetically low ratings. http://t.co/BvJ9QYlnmg @theMRC

  30. Steve Skubinna
    December 20th, 2013 @ 11:30 pm

    Didn’t Piers threaten to self deport if we didn’t delete the Second Amendment?

    Or did he do a quick check on which venues are left to him (he can’t go back to Old Blighty) and realize the US is still his best shot?

  31. Guest
    December 21st, 2013 @ 11:29 am

    “What’s your favorite color?”

  32. The Pout: Barry Needs Some Rest | Regular Right Guy
    December 21st, 2013 @ 12:25 pm

    […] If @PiersMorgan Hates America So Much, Why Won’t He Just Leave the Country? […]

  33. La Pucelle
    December 21st, 2013 @ 7:39 pm

    There’s one key difference, though:

    Sphincters serve a purpose.

  34. FMJRA 2.0: Painkiller : The Other McCain
    December 21st, 2013 @ 8:51 pm

    […] If @PiersMorgan Hates America So Much, Why Won’t He Just Leave the Country? […]

  35. MickfromVic
    December 22nd, 2013 @ 7:42 am

    I come to this article late, but I think you committed a civil rights violation with your acronym, Stacy. #OFAG http://t.co/hqYeSo2vdU