The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

BREAKING: Critical Legal Theorists Seek 8A Theory Supporting Crucifixion

Posted on | May 18, 2017 | Comments Off on BREAKING: Critical Legal Theorists Seek 8A Theory Supporting Crucifixion

by Sissypuss the Blog Kitty

Dr. Adrasteia von Kriegbeagle-McHaggis of NYU’s Brennan Center for Justice is researching a review of the 8th Amendment to the Constitution, which states:

Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted.

This blog obtained a partial transcript from her recent speech at the International Women’s Organization Kraving Equality (IWOKE) which hinted at the topic of her research:
“…while the 8th Amendment certainly made sense in a cis-hetero, agrarian, patriarchal, pre-Information Age society, Progress demands that we question: What is cruelty? How are we to assess the aggregate cruelty afflicted on a population by an unhinged official who, ascending to power, proceeds to wield it in numerous ways that are tantamount to rape and torture of our most sensitive, triggerable victim groups?
“By the way: there is nothing unusual about crucifixion. It happens annually in the Philippines, not that we want to go “lifting up” Christianity (get it?).
“But let’s talk cruelty: hundreds in the United States are being driven to the edge of depression and beyond by scare-mongering, braggadocio, and atrocious tweets. What about them?
“No, the time has come to admit that these are not normal times. Testosterone has failed. The sun has set on the days when the U.S. can tolerate such effrontery in silence.
“Therefore–despite our proper aversion to capital punishment in the general case–we must re-think the possibility of resurrecting a cathartic method of redress, that can balance the scales of cruelty, and bring some desperately needed social justice to this country.
“We need to crucify anyone found guilty of  Holocaust-Grade Cruelty, or HGC, quickly. Colleges have been carefully prepared to handle HGC cases, by dispensing with much of that “due process” claptrap that kept so many violent men on the loose for so long. The 9th Circuit will uphold an HGC ruling, as long as we take care of matters in the West. The other reason for speed, besides the cruelty itself, is that the “reliability” of the Supreme Court is worsening with every trusty liberal that retires. We may not be able to “nail down” the necessary support unless we act now.
“So, join IWOKE in the struggle for Higher Truth, as we seek to progress forward together into a glorious, cruelty-free world.”
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The tweet that inspired this post:

Category: Farce

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