Doctor Kook and the Mysterious Case of the Bill-Paying Sperm Donor

Posted on | October 29, 2016 | 1 Comment

Suppose you were a very intelligent young man from Massachusetts. You are not only smart, but tall and handsome. You go to college, then go to law school, hire on with a good firm, you’re making good money and then you meet a woman. She’s from the Midwest and attended a good state university where she was a sorority member. Like you, she’s tall, and she’s also got a winning personality. You’re thinking: “Wife material.”

Being a smart young lawyer, you realize that marriage involves risk. So at some point, as your relationship with this charming young woman drifts into serious territory, you will find a way to determine her attitude toward divorce. Perhaps you might mention a friend or relative who has gone through a nasty divorce, and how rough it is on him, arguing with his ex-wife, the emotional trauma the kids are suffering. You just bring this up casually, maybe looking for situations — some news item on TV, whatever — that function as a plausible cue to raise the subject, in a way where she doesn’t realize you’re trying to gauge her response.

When a man is assessing a woman as wife material, of course, he wants a woman who condemns divorce in the strongest possible terms. Obviously you, the handsome young lawyer, would be a fine “catch” as a husband, and the one thing you definitely don’t want is to have your life wrecked by a woman who cheats, or gets bored with married life, or for whatever other reason decides in 10 or 15 years that she’s going to dump you, taking your kids and half your assets. No, sir, you never want to be that sad figure, the Divorced Dad, trying to start your life over encumbered with the burden of monthly child-support payments and feeling like you’ve got a gigantic flashing neon sign over your head: “LOSER!”

“One life, one wife” — that’s the way any smart fellow approaches marriage, and therefore when considering a woman as wife material, the successful young lawyer should be looking for a deeply conservative woman. You’re looking for a religious woman, who views marriage as a sacred institution, divinely ordained: “Those whom God hath joined together let no man put asunder,” and everything else in the Book of Common Prayer ceremony. This consideration is especially important to the young lawyer who’s bringing home good money, because the world is full of wickedness in the 21st century, and woe be unto him who marries a woman who does not take her wedding vows seriously. “Till death do us part, according to God’s holy ordinance,” etc.

As the reader may have guessed by now, the lawyer I’ve described is not merely a hypothetical character. Both he and the Midwestern sorority girl are real, and I omit their names for a reason. You see, in addition to inquiring into a woman’s attitude toward divorce, a smart fellow nowadays must keep in mind that their are many dangers out there in this world full of wickedness. Here once again, the successful young lawyer would be advised to seek a conservative and religious woman as his bride. And just to make sure she is authentic wife material, he should make sure to ascertain her attitude toward homosexuality.

“Yuck! Disgusting! A perverse abomination!”

That would be an acceptable reaction. Your standards might vary, but a young man should be cautious about marrying a woman whose attitude toward the LGBT crowd seems unusually . . . shall we say, tolerant?

Perceptive as we would expect a smart young lawyer to be, he could see that a woman with conservative and religious views about the sanctity of marriage — which, as I say, should be sine qua non for wife material — is likely to frown on the LGBT way of life. Not a hateful bigot, maybe, but not too tolerant. Because the world is full of wickedness.

The woman on the right was a Midwestern sorority girl, while the woman on the left is a two-word synonym for “crazy” — psychology major.

Insanity can be contagious, and it’s important to quarantine yourself. Don’t hang around with psychology majors, and you should be especially careful about anyone with a Ph.D. in the subject. Because this woman is a towering pile of 100% pure craziness:

I actually had a really stable upbringing until I was about 12. My parents were married, my closest grandparents lived five minutes away, and I was really close with my older sister and younger brother. All very “normal.” Sure, that all radically changed after 12 when my parents divorced, my mother remarried and I found myself with four new step-siblings (who I love and cherish to this day even though we are no longer step-siblings), I moved to a new town at the start of high school, and found myself with an identity crisis and a new group of friends every year.

This woman is damaged, emotionally traumatized in childhood and, while I’m too sane to have a Ph.D. in psychology, my prognosis of her case is that she has a near-zero chance of recovering from this mental wound. She is profoundly unbalanced, and guess where this led her?

It was no wonder that as a senior in high school I latched on to a very calm, stable, kind boy who gave me the steadiness I needed.
My need for stability at this point was so powerful that I kept a very tight grip on it. Even though I felt that my relationship was not right for me from time to time as I continued to grow and develop, I stayed committed for over 10 years.
It was never wrong, but it was never quite right.

Man, this is a classic: Damaged girl needs a “calm, stable, kind boy” — and by “kind,” she means, a gullible fool who didn’t recognize how dangerously crazy she is. To her, this boyfriend provided the “stability” she needed — safe, respectable, nurturing — while he didn’t realize that secretly, she felt their relationship was “never quite right.” He invested more than 10 years in her, and he was wasting his time:

I am a lover. So much so that if you were to ask me what I always wanted in life from when I was a young child, I would have said true love. Great, big, life-changing, do-anything-for, crying-in-the-street-during-a-rainstorm kind of love. That conflicted greatly with my need for stability and calmness. . . .
What my calm, stable love did provide was the chance to grow and develop into a strong, confident, independent woman. I went swiftly towards the direction of my dreams and realized quickly I was traveling alone. This is never anyone’s fault. This is what happens when two lives join at 17 and there is a lifetime of change and growth ahead. Change I was once afraid of but began to embrace and strive for as I truly became me.

Rather self-serving of her to declare that what goes wrong in a relationship is “never anyone’s fault,” when her boyfriend was so good, and she was so “crying-in-the-street-during-a-rainstorm” crazy.

By the way, not to change the subject, but nine years of college is too much, especially at a school like Northeastern University (annual tuition $47,655), where Jenelle Jopchick got her bachelor’s degree (2007), master’s degree (2009), and Ph.D. in Psychology (2012). If you’re going to spend nine years to get a degree, it had better be an M.D. or a Ph.D. in computer science of some other field where expertise is actually valuable, as opposed to psychology, which is for kooks. (Has anyone ever met an entirely sane psychology major?) If burning through something close to half-a-million dollars to get a psychology degree isn’t crazy, then “crazy” has no useful definition. Anyway, back to Dr. Kook’s story:

We got engaged on Christmas 2011. Everyone around me was getting engaged, buying houses, and even having babies. It made perfect sense — I was finally finishing my degree and had secured a post-doctorate job. I was looking into buying a house with my kind boy and finally becoming an adult, and not just a student. My real life was about to begin. So why did everything feel just . . .okay? . . .

(Because you’re crazy, that’s why.)

When my graduate career ended I was creating friendships outside of school for the first time in my life. One person in particular really spoke to my soul. I never saw her coming.
We met through a mutual friend, whom we had both been friends with for some time but somehow our paths had never crossed until that mutual friend was getting married. We were introduced on New Year’s Eve of 2011 when I, freshly engaged, met her and her husband (yes, her husband) . . .

Ah, yes, the lawyer’s wife, mother of his three children, meets the soon-to-be Dr. Yopchick on New Year’s Eve, just days after the long-term boyfriend proposed to her, and you can read the rest of that crazy story.

Did I ever mention insanity is hereditary?

Think back to what Janelle Yopchick said about her parents getting divorced when she was 12, and her mother remarrying to a guy with four kids of his own. Say what you will, but doesn’t this suggest her parents were emotionally unstable? There is no need to point fingers and figure out whether her mother was crazier than her father. I’m just saying divorce is a cruel thing to inflict on your kids, and something must have been badly wrong with one or both parents for them to do that.

Oh, but let’s switch to another version of Dr. Yopchick’s narrative, where she reveals more about her unusually crazy background:

I grew up in a very liberal, emotionally expressive family. My mother’s best friend was gay and growing up I had countless gay “aunts” and “uncles” (that’s what happens when your parents meet doing theater together). . . .
Truthfully, it wasn’t until I was in high school that I even learned ‘being afraid to be gay’ was a thing people felt. It was such a non-issue in my life and my family. And in the last year I attended my all-girls summer camp (that I had attended every year since I was 9), I distinctly remember wanting to be a lesbian, because so many of the women surrounding me were and it just seemed so cool. They were so sure, so confident, they belonged.
So at 14, I settled on saying I was “bi” and open to anything and anyone, that I was more about the connection with another person and that physical body parts had little to do with that connection for me. And so even though I looked like your average heterosexual young adult from age 17-28, dating the captain of the football team and eventually accepting his marriage proposal, I still always had my open-mind — and more importantly, my open heart.
I didn’t expect that another woman (married, with three young kids), would walk right into that opening and fill it all the way up to the tippy top. But she did and she has.

Groan. Her “very liberal” parents met “doing theater together,” her parents had numerous gay friends, she identified as bisexual at 14, and you just had to know this ticking time-bomb of insanity was looking for the right place to explode. Why didn’t her boyfriend spot the signs? And what was the deal with the lawyer’s wife, huh? Wouldn’t you imagine a smart young lawyer would be very careful before marrying a woman and having three kids with her? Has the shortage of sane women become so severe in the 21st century that even these two high-status guys — one the quarterback of the football team and the other a tall handsome lawyer — can’t screen out the weirdos while looking for wife material?

Oh, but these guys are so “tolerant” they’re natural-born chumps. Here, let’s return to Dr. Kook’s previous narrative of her craziness:

I know that I was not ready to marry my fiancé and I did not want to birth my own children, I wanted to adopt. I felt very strongly about this since the age of 12. I knew for a very long time that love did not require blood. I know that her husband, much like my kind boy, was a kind and understanding man. Someone who truly wanted the best for her and for his children. Someone who accepted that our great big love was meant to flourish, even when it hurt.

Please spare me your silly “love was meant to flourish” crap, Dr. Kook. You were a snake in the grass, a wolf among sheep, just looking for the right opportunity to make your move. You are a cunning predator who, through stealth and patience, found the perfect prey: A mother of three kids with a “kind and understanding” husband who didn’t seem to mind you wrecking his family. Your “crying-in-the-street-during-a-rainstorm” act is just a rationalization for your opportunistic selfishness.

“Misery loves company,” and it would not do for you — the emotionally damaged product of a failed marriage — to let someone else have a happy home, when you could so easily hijack their kids for your own insane experiment in alternative parenting. Just relegate the children’s father to the role of bill-paying sperm donor — what a bargain! — and you get the lesbian family you wanted all along. Quite a clever scam, really.

 

Dr. Jennelle is a Ph.D. psychologist and relationship advisor utilizing her 10-plus years of psychology education and experience to help relationships thrive throughout all of life’s crazy transitions — moving in together, having a baby, blending families, changing careers, financial shifts, etc., while additionally specializing in female same-sex couples. Dr. Jennelle is the co-parent of three amazing children (twin sons, The Tinies, and a daughter, The Little) and shares their life in a beautiful home just 20 minutes from the ocean with her partner-in-love.

She’s a “relationship advisor”! She has lots of “experience to help relationships thrive” through “crazy transitions” like the one she helped instigate for the lawyer who got dumped by his wife, and the three kids who saw their family wrecked by this opportunistic Ph.D. psychopath.

This is how “equality” actually operates: Women are entitled to do whatever they please, and men are required to pay the bills and be understanding of “crying-in-the-street-during-a-rainstorm” craziness.

You know, I’ve seen a lot of craziness and evil in my life, and let he who is without sin cast the first stone, but what kind of person does what Jennelle Yopchick did, and then plasters her social-media profile with picture after picture of the result, and then keeps telling and re-telling the story of her own awful behavior? Is any fool so foolish as to pay for Dr. Yopchick’s services as a “relationship advisor”?

If you need bad advice from crazy people, you can get that anywhere, for free. Just go to your local tavern, have a few beers, tell your troubles to the bartender. Maybe he can help you get through those through “crazy transitions.” It’s cheaper than paying some Ph.D. psychologist for advice and, of course, beer can be therapeutic in its own way.

Young guys need to stop tolerating so much nonsense from women. Guys who are too “understanding” — as if it is “sexist” to expect women to behave responsibly — aren’t actually helping women. Men should not be domineering bullies, but neither should men act as enablers to the kind of crooked game that Dr. Kook has been playing her whole life.

A man would be better off alone than to get mixed up with cruel liar like her. Never forget, guys — the world is full of wickedness.

 

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