The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

Château de Raceur

Posted on | March 10, 2014 | 19 Comments

Château de Raceur

Those burdened with all manner of guilt, but most especially guilt stemming from birth to 1% parents of European extraction, are flocking to upstate New York’s famed Château de Raceur to indulge our vast range of karmic cleansing packages.

Who

Academics, bankers, stock brokers, venture capitalists, union leaders, and civil servants flock to our rural setting, modeled after Long Island’s Sylvester Manor, an interesting piece of history that is far too conveniently forgotten in the rush to pour hatred on the South.

Where

We’re located just up the Hudson from another institution people go to purge themselves, the U.S. Military Academy at West Point

When

De Raceur has been in operation since 2009, and ensures its visitors get serviced year-round. While other agriculturally oriented venues might pare back operations during winter, we find that harsh conditions enhance our product.

What

De Raceur features a fully functional, pre-Civil War plantation. That means that it amounts to a subsistence farming village, with all of the argicultural and light industry trappings. Visitors arrive and, after a legal briefing, sign a waver that permits our Karmic Cleansing Consultants to offer support that might otherwise appear to violate their Constitutional rights.

Why

We live in an era of guilt. After allowing Godless Commies like Howard Zinn to sodomize American history, our elite are now awash in externally imposed feelings of culpability for events of prior centuries. Never mind the good that the United States has done historically, continues to do today, and will do for humanity in the future. No: here at de Raceur, the glass is always half empty.

Testimonials


Sterling Stradivari
Art Historian		 “Having my teeth loosened by a hulking minority for looking directly at him really helped me deal with issues pertaining to my high station in society.”
“De Raceur both revealed and relieved unknown vistas of guilt I had been harboring as a member of the partiarchal oppressors.”

Thurston Rigginwort
Venture Capitalist

Josephine Llewwellynne
Federal Deputy Assistant Sub-Undersecretary for Affordable Care Act Aromatherapy Policy		 “They hated me; they hated my face. And by swimming the seas of hatred, and with time to recuperate from the floggings, I at last found an island of peace, despite the fact that I come from a long line of Baptist preachers.”
“It was like my karma hit some large dogma, and the radiator was wheezing like anathema sufferer, ya know? So they make me a share cropper for a while, get it? I totally got rid of any bad feelings about doing my job supporting the Democratic Party and skimming money from honest workers. And that’s how de Raceur prepared me to head down South and pull in some new suckers in the name of doin’ them a solid.”

Antonia “Toni the Slicing Hammer” Jabruzzi
United Auto Workers Capture Leader

Come to Château de Raceur, and let us assuage your guilt

 

Update: I stand accused of plagiarism for using the four mug shots from The Onion, while only linking, and not explicitly crediting the source. My degenerate crapsack of an accuser seems less worried about the NYU pic at the top of the post, but I didn’t take that one myself, either.

I deeply regret any reader confusion as to whether the non-verbal content of this post, which I did not initially credit to my name, and on which I have made exactly $0.0, was my personal product. I don’t think any “reasonable” people are in any way taken in by the content of this post, verbally or photographically. It is intended as a humorous jibe at precisely the sort of degenerate twit I’m dealing with on Slashdot. If you have a moment, please feel free to navigate to Slashdot and tell damn_registrars that, when you’re so jacked up as to make Rachel Maddow seem a straight shooter, you know you’ve got issues.

Thanks,

Smitty

Category: Culture, Farce

Comments

19 Responses to “Château de Raceur”

  1. Evi L. Bloggerlady
    March 10th, 2014 @ 10:01 am

    Sweet! Do you have to tip extra to have them spit and pee in the soup, or does that come with the package?

  2. Evi L. Bloggerlady
    March 10th, 2014 @ 10:05 am

    This is only slightly off topic: Did you catch Cosmos last night? MacFarland and DeGrasse Tyson spent about a quarter of the opening show focused on how the Catholic Church burned alive a mystic who believed in an infinite universe in the 1500s. And they did it with animation. They left out how the Church saved much of the learning from the Classical period. Those atheists have to remind us (and our kids) how the church is soooo anti science and evil.

  3. rmnixondeceased
    March 10th, 2014 @ 10:11 am

    Always will be folks to separate the gullible from a dollar or six … I’m waiting for PT Barnum (Deceased) to weigh in with some appropriate wit …

  4. tahDeetz
    March 10th, 2014 @ 11:18 am

    RT @smitty_one_each: Château de Raceur http://t.co/DTSyfJjj4a #TCOT @exjon @instapundit @filmladd Come for the Tea Party Special!

  5. K-Bob
    March 10th, 2014 @ 10:42 am

    Missing the byline again!

  6. SPQR9
    March 10th, 2014 @ 10:50 am

    The “review” photos from The Onion a nice touch.

  7. Bozikek
    March 10th, 2014 @ 11:29 am

    Not just Science, Science!!

    Get tired of these buzzword hacks pandering to middle to low brow atheists. I mean look at his CV

    http://www.haydenplanetarium.org/tyson/curriculum-vitae#research

    13 whole papers since 85? Hardly any first billing? If I was that mediocre at my job I might just give up and start pandering to the lowest common as well.

  8. Bozikek
    March 10th, 2014 @ 11:30 am

    This reminds me of that, “brown eye, green eye” witch who has a class where people go to be insulted. Only the companies force people to attend.

  9. richard mcenroe
    March 10th, 2014 @ 11:45 am

    It’s like Sagan bloviating about the Christians burning the Library of Alexandria. See, out of several different burnings, that was the bad one…

  10. Daniel O'Brien
    March 10th, 2014 @ 12:08 pm

    Reminds me of the Urban Minority Workshop I attended while working for one of the Fortune 500 companies back in the late 70’s. We holed up in a hotel in Newark, NJ while a Black moderator berated us white employees. We were dropped off in the middle of the poorest sections of Newark and were told to eat at a particular diner all on our own to experience reverse racism. In the evenings we were given opportunities to emote and cry about our White Privilege and those holding back were psychologically manipulated in situational role-play until our “true” racists tendencies would be revealed. Where we lived. Who we dated/married. Who our friends were. All clearly demonstrated our inherent racism.

  11. smitty
    March 10th, 2014 @ 12:19 pm

    This is an advertisement. “by Smitty” would’ve ruined it. The dig on USMA should’ve been a giveaway. 🙂

  12. Kirby McCain
    March 10th, 2014 @ 4:44 pm

    What else would you expect. Neil Tyson is the product of leftwing schools Columbia and Harvard. He’s a real life affirmative action superhero.

  13. Quartermaster
    March 10th, 2014 @ 4:53 pm

    I had a strong suspicion it was you Smitty. I was going to point out that the Onion was not a real periodical and point out that pointing a civilian to the Duffel Blog is probably a crime against humanity under some convention somewhere.

    Good to see you ‘fess up.

  14. Quartermaster
    March 10th, 2014 @ 4:54 pm

    The last burning of the library at Alexandria was done by Muslim conquerors. I don’t recall any being done by Christians.

  15. Bob Belvedere
    March 10th, 2014 @ 6:57 pm

    I knew it was you. You have a certain style and way with words that are both different than Stacy’s and Wombat’s.

    [PS: Still waiting for my O’Dough]

  16. richard mcenroe
    March 10th, 2014 @ 8:46 pm

    Sagan dug one up, a Bishop of Alexandria.

  17. K-Bob
    March 10th, 2014 @ 8:59 pm

    The title and the link to Sylvester Manor were as good as a photograph of you having ice cream with TWYB.

    I was applying a wee bit of smoke.

  18. DiFi Hacked in More Ways Than One | Regular Right Guy
    March 11th, 2014 @ 3:27 pm

    […] Château de Raceur […]

  19. Bob Belvedere
    March 11th, 2014 @ 7:51 pm

    RE: Your request, Admiral…

    Done: http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=4881977&cid=46459879