The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

Given a Hypothetical Choice Between Monica Lewinsky and Sydney Leathers?

Posted on | July 30, 2013 | 87 Comments

De gustibus non est disputandum, of course, but any man who would prefer tattooed Sydney to the alabaster-complexioned Monica . . .

Maybe it takes a Southern good ol’ boy to understand why Bill Clinton liked more cushion for the pushin’, as fellows say down home.

Not that Sydney Leathers is particularly thin, but when it comes to the question of which gal looks like she’d appreciate a dinner date at Cracker Barrel — country fried steak and gravy, turnip greens, pinto beans, hashbrown casserole, biscuits and cornbread — I don’t think there can be any question: Monica is the plus-size winner.

What a lovely girl! Her green eyes are beautiful, her dark hair is beautiful and her mouth . . . Well, of course, I’m a happily married man, but this is strictly a hypothetical scenario, remember?

That’s why I was so strongly in favor of President Clinton’s impeachment. He was under oath when he was asked about Monica and, if he had any regard for truth, Bill would have had no choice but to answer: “Oh, hell, yes. I did that gal every day of the week and twice on Sunday. Honestly, I just couldn’t help myself. That chubby young gal flashing her thong panties at me? Like the song said, I took one look and I was fractured. Tried to walk and I was lame.”

Maybe some men honestly find Monica Lewinsky unattractive. Who am I to judge? Now let us recite the Good Ol’ Boys Prayer: Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from horny fat girls . . .

 

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Comments

87 Responses to “Given a Hypothetical Choice Between Monica Lewinsky and Sydney Leathers?”

  1. JeffS
    July 30th, 2013 @ 7:57 pm

    Leathers: Coyote ugly. A two bagger. American flag and patriotic music required. Beer goggles not optional.

    Lewinksy: Definitely worth the price of a meal and a movie. Even today.

  2. Da Tech Guy On DaRadio Blog » Blog Archive » DaTechGuy with Stacy McCain & John LaRosa & My latest in the Examiner now available
    July 30th, 2013 @ 8:00 pm

    […] of Stacy I have to agree Mon­ica is bet­ter looker than that leathers girl, but either way both have made bad deci­sions and while […]

  3. trangbang68
    July 30th, 2013 @ 8:05 pm

    Sydney’s so nasty she made SpeedStick slow down..She made Right Guard turn left…a skunk smelled her butt and passed out…she pours sea water down her pants to keep her crabs fresh…her house is so nasty she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside..she’s so fat she fell in love and broke it…her belly button gets home 15 minutes before she does..

  4. Blake
    July 30th, 2013 @ 8:12 pm

    A year or two after the Lewinsky scandal, Monica was stopped and asked for an autograph. Monica declined, saying, and I’m paraphrasing, “My notoriety isn’t for something very nice.”

    Monica’s stock went way up with me at that time.

  5. indybellusa
    July 30th, 2013 @ 8:42 pm

    Given a Hypothetical Choice Between Monica Lewinsky and Sydney Leathers? http://t.co/lTJCzbelRY

  6. Finrod Felagund
    July 30th, 2013 @ 9:00 pm

    I have a concept for a tattoo I want to get– it’s a cross made of Celtic knotwork, with an alpha and an omega embedded in the left and right sides, and 888 vertically. I just need to get it on paper the way I want it.

  7. Finrod Felagund
    July 30th, 2013 @ 9:00 pm

    I have a concept for a tattoo I want to get– it’s a cross made of Celtic knotwork, with an alpha and an omega embedded in the left and right sides, and 888 vertically. I just need to get it on paper the way I want it.

  8. Rosalie
    July 30th, 2013 @ 9:01 pm

    I have a niece who’s a liberal. She has a job that requires her to make several trips to China each year. Bill Clinton was on her one flight and she was determined to talk to him, and she did. She has a daughter. When she was telling the story of how she was so excited about talking to Bill Clinton, I couldn’t help but wonder how she would have felt if he had done that to her daughter? Or what if she heard that a neighbor did that to a young girl. Would she have been friendly to her neighbor after that?

  9. RMNixonDeceased
    July 30th, 2013 @ 9:11 pm

    “Alex, I’ll take piranha-infested water, for a depth of 50′.” — smitty http://t.co/c4BHoPYUcU

  10. rmnixondeceased
    July 30th, 2013 @ 9:16 pm

    Today, the sideshow freaks are running our Republic into the ground. Tats optional, it’s the spiritual sickness that defines them.

  11. RMNixonDeceased
    July 30th, 2013 @ 9:17 pm

    “Today, the sideshow freaks are running our Republic into the ground. Tats optional, it’s the…” — rmnixondeceased http://t.co/CN7V1q0htG

  12. Matthew W
    July 30th, 2013 @ 9:28 pm

    What about pirates?

  13. The Other McCain goes there? | The Daley Gator
    July 30th, 2013 @ 9:33 pm

    […] YEP! He did, and I agree Monica is more doable […]

  14. Garym
    July 30th, 2013 @ 10:22 pm

    Or they are just plain stupid. I was working on some equipment behind a bar a couple of years ago and the female (who put “Miss” Lewinski and “Miss” Leathers to shame) bartender actually had a tramp stamp that said “tramp”. I’m sure her parents are so proud.

  15. Garym
    July 30th, 2013 @ 10:28 pm

    Good nite Mr. Dangerfield …….. wherever you are …….

  16. cubanbob
    July 30th, 2013 @ 10:32 pm

    Well said. What is with broads and tats? Always looks sleazy.

  17. Most Influential Bloggers? | The Daley Gator
    July 30th, 2013 @ 10:42 pm

    […] The Other McCain […]

  18. Evi L. Bloggerlady
    July 30th, 2013 @ 10:53 pm

    I am sure you loved studying that art!

  19. Evi L. Bloggerlady
    July 30th, 2013 @ 10:53 pm

    Pirates get a pass.

  20. jakee308
    July 30th, 2013 @ 11:03 pm

    When you find out the girl you’re dating has a tattoo on her lower back that says “You Are Here” and an arrow pointing south . . .

  21. rmnixondeceased
    July 30th, 2013 @ 11:29 pm

    See “civilian sailors”

  22. Evi L. Bloggerlady
    July 31st, 2013 @ 12:13 am

    Today is the anniversary of the USS Indianapolis…

  23. BeccaJLower
    July 31st, 2013 @ 12:15 am

    ICYMI: Given a Hypothetical Choice Between Monica Lewinsky and Sydney Leathers? http://t.co/kCKMH66Xzt via @rsmccain #tcot #weiner

  24. RMNixonDeceased
    July 31st, 2013 @ 12:20 am

    RT @BeccaJLower: ICYMI: Given a Hypothetical Choice Between Monica Lewinsky and Sydney Leathers? http://t.co/kCKMH66Xzt via @rsmccain #tcot…

  25. rsmccain
    July 31st, 2013 @ 12:22 am

    RT @BeccaJLower: ICYMI: Given a Hypothetical Choice Between Monica Lewinsky and Sydney Leathers? http://t.co/kCKMH66Xzt via @rsmccain #tcot…

  26. ChandlersGhost
    July 31st, 2013 @ 12:53 am

    Big bottom drive me outta my mind
    How could I leave this…behiiiind…

  27. RMNixonDeceased
    July 31st, 2013 @ 1:00 am

    “When you find out the girl you’re dating has a tattoo on her lower back that says “You Are Here” and an…” — jakee308 http://t.co/Zo4Jy0VRao

  28. Anon Y. Mous
    July 31st, 2013 @ 2:05 am

    Given the choice between a woman who had her private affairs dragged into the limelight in her youth or a prostitute…

    Not even close.

  29. NCHornet
    July 31st, 2013 @ 7:33 am

    Given a Hypothetical Choice Between Clinton’s Monica Lewinsky and the Weiner’s Sydney Leathers? : http://t.co/coZfr3fg2Y

  30. Wombat_socho
    July 31st, 2013 @ 9:41 am

    I was actually more interested in their front side, IYKWIMAITYD.

  31. Evi L. Bloggerlady
    July 31st, 2013 @ 9:48 am

    These Democrats are giving us Rule 5 pearls I tell you!

  32. Evi L. Bloggerlady
    July 31st, 2013 @ 10:04 am

    I am sure you were, but art needs to be studied from all angles.

  33. K-Bob
    July 31st, 2013 @ 5:48 pm

    I wonder if anyone else besides me plans to die without ever having tattoos, piercings, or subjecting themselves to “a manscape”?

  34. FMJRA 2.0: Mental Door : The Other McCain
    August 3rd, 2013 @ 9:33 pm

    […] Given a Hypothetical Choice Between Monica Lewinsky and Sydney Leathers? […]

  35. Dana
    August 3rd, 2013 @ 10:50 pm

    As far as we know, the only thing Sydney Leathers did with her mouth is talk, so Monica has her beat, beat, beat!

  36. Dana
    August 3rd, 2013 @ 10:51 pm

    I’ve managed to make it six decades tattoo and piercing free!

  37. Dana
    August 3rd, 2013 @ 11:03 pm

    OK, having just looked at some pictures of Miss Leathers — and that’s just got to be a porn name — I can see why she was sexting with the little Weiner. Judging from her looks, masturbation would be her only sexual outlet.