The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

Happily Never After

Posted on | June 10, 2013 | 18 Comments

The one guaranteed result of legalizing gay marriage: Gay divorce, which is not exactly evidence of anything in particular, except as disproving the homo-supremacist message that we’d all be happier if not for the awful oppression of heteronormativity.

In 2010, actress Jane Lynch became the “wife” (or perhaps, husband) of psychologist Lara Embry:

“It’s just the greatest thrill in the world to find somebody that you want to be with every day.”

Well, at least “every day” until you get sick and tired of putting up with their crap, which in this case was about three years:

“Lara and I have decided to end our marriage. This has been a difficult decision for us as we care very deeply about one another. We ask for privacy as we deal with this family matter,” Lynch says in a statement.

“We ask for privacy” = “The ugly details of our relationship, from our disastrously misguided decision to get together, to the acrimonious circumstances of our bitter divorce, are so embarrassingly lurid that, should it all become public, many young women would probably abandon all hope for future happiness as lesbians and instead decide to sell themselves as mail-order brides to Arabs. Therefore, in the interests of The Movement, we ask that our friends please help us by ignoring the vicious accusations that will dribble out as affidavits and discovery documents in forthcoming lawsuits. Also, please join me in hoping my ex-wife dies of cancer, and soon, that bitch.”

What’s the over/under on how many days before the “Jane Lynch sex video” shows up on YouTube?

UPDATE: Speaking of YouTube — how’s that for a smooth transition? — perhaps those unacquainted with contemporary youth culture will find this shocking, whereas people who have been paying attention will find it all too familiar in its vacuous sadness:

Ah, the shallow, selfish competition of the “notch-in-the-bedpost” mentality, now celebrated as a triumph of Equality and Progress!

 

Category: Celebrities, Gays, Marriage

Comments

18 Responses to “Happily Never After”

  1. smitty
    June 10th, 2013 @ 7:39 pm

    We need to introduce fresh terminology, e.g. ‘wusband’ and ‘hife’ to help communicate.

  2. DaveO
    June 10th, 2013 @ 8:25 pm

    As Family Law courts favor women to an obscene degree, I wonder who gets the goldmine, and who gets the shaft in this divorce?

  3. jordan swain
    June 10th, 2013 @ 9:29 pm

    perhaps this is like how japanese soldiers are more refined at “love making” than their korean brethren. Tastes like chicken looks like a taco.

  4. This Stupid Week, We Hate It When Our Friends Become Successful Edition | Blackmailers Don't Shoot
    June 10th, 2013 @ 10:34 pm

    […] McCain writes about one of the inevitable consequences of gay marriage – gay divorce. Nasty same-sex divorces aren’t too new, though. Melissa Etheridge comes to […]

  5. Dana
    June 10th, 2013 @ 11:01 pm

    How is it that we are told by the homosexual activists that what they do in their bedrooms is none of anyone else’s business, but they then proceed to make it our business by telling us what they do in their bedrooms?

    MIsses Lynch and Embry might want “privacy as (they) deal with this family matter,” yet they were quite willing to make their “family matter” public, as having their “wedding” documented in People magazine indicates.

    One of us finds that somewhat hypocritical.

  6. Freddy At Night
    June 10th, 2013 @ 11:02 pm

    Reckon the campy pretentious spectacle of a homosexual “wedding” can only be outdone by the fatuous drama of a homosexual “divorce”…

    I used to wonder if two homosexuals “marry” and there was no video, is there really a marriage? Suppose now I can ponder whether a homosexual “marriage” can really be said to have existed without the subsequent necessity of a theatrical “divorce”!

  7. Freddy At Night
    June 10th, 2013 @ 11:11 pm

    Are you and I hearing the same voices through our foil-lined hats at the same time?

  8. jordan swain
    June 10th, 2013 @ 11:11 pm

    it keeps the garment district busy

  9. Adjoran
    June 10th, 2013 @ 11:20 pm

    What’s the frequency, Kenneth?

  10. Freddy At Night
    June 10th, 2013 @ 11:21 pm

    Stop it! I’m creeped out enough already…

  11. Dana
    June 10th, 2013 @ 11:21 pm

    Must be! 🙂

  12. Adjoran
    June 10th, 2013 @ 11:23 pm

    That video is strange, but you should watch the last minute.

    Not quite a Jane Lynch sex tape, but pretty freaky nonetheless. Maybe they should do one on the “jailbait” topic?

  13. Adjoran
    June 10th, 2013 @ 11:25 pm

    Oh, and in Canada, where they had gay marriage before the USA, the experience has been a higher divorce rate than with straight couples. NTTAWWT, h8rs.

  14. Freddy At Night
    June 10th, 2013 @ 11:33 pm

    Canada… America’s hat! foil-lined hat! tocque!

    BTW: Hear tell that the straight divorce rate is significantly lower in the US states where homosexual “marriage” is legal…

  15. trangbang68
    June 11th, 2013 @ 12:18 am

    the two l’il lesbos in the video were pretty lame and shallow. Other than their deviant proclivities, they seemed like they’d be lucky to land a job on the graveyard shift at Circle K

  16. Evi L. Bloggerlady
    June 11th, 2013 @ 2:52 am

    We will see soon enough. My prediction is the divorce rate will be higher for these same sex unions than it is for traditional marriage.

  17. Evi L. Bloggerlady
    June 11th, 2013 @ 9:54 am

    That has to be immediately followed by a good beating.

  18. Scribe of Slog (McGehee)
    June 11th, 2013 @ 12:46 pm

    I thought a wusband was a wimpy guy with a domineering wife.

    Or does that need two S’s?