The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

Michael Moore: Can I Out-Stupid @AmandaMarcotte? Why, Yes, The Founders Might Say That I Can

Posted on | July 26, 2012 | 19 Comments

by Smitty

Listen, Michael Moore, you corpulent Commie: the inalienable right of every man to defend himself is precisely what the Founders protected with the Second Amendment. The First Amendment means that the government cannot purge your rotten mind of its Marxist filth, and the Second Amendment means that you can defend all 17 feet of your circumference*.

As with Amanda Marcotte’s infamous tweet, Michael Moore’s absurd, ahistorical fantasies would have earned him a musket butt upside his fat head from just about any of the Colonials who fought, froze, marched and died for years to deliver the liberty that one who of the sort who “. . .never learned to fight for my freedom. I was only good at enjoying it” so casually trashes in word and deed.

I’d close on a “get stuffed”, Michael Moore, but you’re clearly long since overachieved on the gluttony. However, Tina answers both you and the PHB in today’s Dilbert:
via The Blaze

Update: linked by Andrew J. Patrick, who would attempt to educate the hapless Moore.

*A prime number pulled from the air. I did not actually perform an orbit of Michael Moore to quantify his Jabba-the-Hut-ness.

Category: Culture

Comments

19 Responses to “Michael Moore: Can I Out-Stupid @AmandaMarcotte? Why, Yes, The Founders Might Say That I Can”

  1. PGlenn
    July 26th, 2012 @ 11:20 am

    Smitty, I think you’re title is intended to be a rhetorica question, but if not . . . the answer is always yes. Moore can out-stupid just about any one or any thing. Moore could out-stupid Floyd in True Romance.

  2. Micheal Moore and the Musket Fallacy « Andrew J. Patrick
    July 26th, 2012 @ 11:22 am

    […] So Michael Moore is wrong: if James Madison looked into a crystal ball and saw an AK-47 in the hands of a citizen, he would only ask whether the weapon was comparable to that of the US Army. This technology fallacy that gun-control advocates offer relies upon two incorrect premises: […]

  3. richard mcenroe
    July 26th, 2012 @ 11:55 am

    Moore is so stupid he has brings nine bodyguards when he visits a state with a ten round magazine limit.

  4. Anamika
    July 26th, 2012 @ 11:59 am

    …all 17 feet of your circumference*.

    I would wager Michael Moore’s tummy has at least 17 sq ft of prime real estate–his personal Zuccotti Park–where interested conservatives can take turns and indulge in an unique experience of occupy. (Caution: Don’t get into his pants.)

  5. Keninnorcal
    July 26th, 2012 @ 12:12 pm

    Someone needs to ask him how he protects his mansion on the lake (where he hobnobs with other 1%ers)

  6. Anamika
    July 26th, 2012 @ 12:17 pm

    No, that’s because, he thinks it takes more than one bullet to take him down. And rightly so. What with all the surface fat protecting his vital insides, you got to be extremely lucky.

  7. jwallin
    July 26th, 2012 @ 12:49 pm

    That’s actually very close.

    Given MM’s waist at 58″ x 3.14 = 182″ circumference = 15′

    And he could be larger.

  8. JeffS
    July 26th, 2012 @ 1:25 pm

     Indeed, but I doubt they use AK-47s.  More like M4s, MP5s, etc. 

  9. Wombat_socho
    July 26th, 2012 @ 2:04 pm

     Ewww.

  10. rjacobse
    July 26th, 2012 @ 3:52 pm

    Sorry, but your math is flawed; the calculation is correct, but the input isn’t. Circumference = (pi)(Diameter). A person’s waist measurement IS the circumference. In your equation, you have 58″ as the diameter.

  11. rjacobse
    July 26th, 2012 @ 3:53 pm

    (Unless, of course, that MM’s diameter at the waist really IS 58″.)

  12. Mike G.
    July 26th, 2012 @ 5:22 pm

    “”  *A prime number pulled from the air. I did not actually perform an orbit of Michael Moore to quantify his Jabba-the-Hut-ness.””

    You have a seaman’s eye sir.

  13. William_Teach
    July 26th, 2012 @ 6:43 pm

    Man, it’s a good thing Moore thinks things are so peachy keen that people wouldn’t need something to protect themselves, like, say, 9 bodyguards at one point ( http://www.alternet.org/story/147430/michael_moore%3A_why_i_had_to_hire_9_bodyguards_after_winning_an_oscar?paging=off). I’m betting at least one of them was armed, considering the death threats and actual attacks on Moore.

  14. Adobe_Walls
    July 26th, 2012 @ 10:29 pm

    Moore seems to think that the founders saw the weaponry of the time as primitive or marginally effective and therefore safely entrusted to the common man.
    They did want those old slow muskets in the hands of the common man but they felt so because at the time those weapons were state of the art. Just as M16s and AK47s are today. Restricting us to semi-auto pattern versions of these weapons is tyranny as is denying us our right to light artillery, RPGs or whatever the modern equivalent of the village green cannon.

  15. Adjoran
    July 27th, 2012 @ 12:02 am

    Good think you didn’t try to actually orbit Moore to measure the distance – no telling how long the radio blackout when you were on the dark side.

  16. jwallin
    July 27th, 2012 @ 1:28 am

    OOPS.

    Well in my defense, he LOOKS 15 feet around.

  17. Bob Belvedere
    July 27th, 2012 @ 8:57 am

    And if your head explodes with dark forbodings too

    I’ll see on the dark side of the Moore

  18. RhymesWithRight
    July 27th, 2012 @ 11:34 am

    If the Founding Fathers could see AK47s and AR15s, they would say “Damn — a case of those would be mighty useful against the Redcoats!”

  19. theCL Report: Sweet Land of Liberty
    July 27th, 2012 @ 11:44 pm

    […] Michael Moore: Can I Out-Stupid @AmandaMarcotte? Why, Yes, The Founders Might Say That I Can […]