The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

Schwarzenegger, Babies and Bathwater

Posted on | May 19, 2011 | 11 Comments

Image by Irony Curtain, IOwnTheWorld.com

“Arnold Schwarzenegger has disappointed all of those who put their faith in males, Republicans, politicians or all any combination of the above.”
— Red State Gal, Death by 10,000 Papercuts

That’s rather over-generalizing, isn’t it? Surely, somewhere in America, there must be at least one male Republican politician who hasn’t spawned love-children (yes, it’s plural) by paramours. And yet the innocent are being blamed for the Sperminator‘s sins.

Same thing with the Potluck blog post titled, “What is Wrong with Conservative Men of Late?” — Ben Stein is responsible for his own arguments. Don’t blame me.

Why did Arnold do what he did? Because he could:

Now that Arnold Schwarzenegger has admitted that he fathered a child out-of-wedlock with a member of his household staff, the former California Governor has everyone wondering — how could he keep the child a secret from his wife, kids, and everyone else for over a decade?
“He probably made payments to her in cash, money orders, or he could have had an accountant or a business manager pay her,” Beverly Hills-based divorce attorney Evan T. Sussman told FOX 411. . . .
“Arnold has the means to keep a love child a secret because he has the money,” Sussman said.

Yeah, but he’s going to have a lot less of that when Maria’s lawyer gets through with him. That’s the thing about mistresses: They’re attracted to the married man’s aura of success. But then the wife catches on and cleans the guy out in the divorce settlement and next thing you know, the guy’s just a lonely loser eating take-out food in an efficiency apartment.

Schwarzenegger’s unlikely to fall that low, but this scandal isn’t going to help his prospects for a Hollywood comeback.

What the hell was Arnold thinking? His housekeeper/mistress wasn’t exactly centerfold material. Ace of Spades: “As the old saying goes, cheating men aren’t looking for better, they’re just looking for different.”

I disavow any pretension of moral superiority: If I were a millionaire movie star-turned-governor, who knows what mischief and hijinks might ensue? So perhaps rather than envy the rich and famous, we should be grateful for our poverty and obscurity.

That’s what I try to explain to my wife, anyway: “Yeah, we’re dirt-poor, but look on the bright side — at least I’m not siring bastard offspring with a skanky housekeeper!”

Hit the tip jar, and I promise never to have an affair with a woman named “Mildred.”


Category: California, Celebrities, Republicans, Scandal, Sex

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