The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

Finally, PJTV Discovers Rule 5

Posted on | November 7, 2010 | 21 Comments

Video is a visual medium. So if you want people to watch your videos, try a little eye candy. Stephen Kruiser is a great guy, but definitely not “eye candy.” Ergo, he adds a 25-year-old hottie sidekick, Kinsey Schofield. (Click the image to watch the video.)

“She’s a great writer,” says Kruiser. Yeah. She’s another freakin’ Shakespeare, I’m sure.

Cynical? Moi?

UPDATE: To, uh, disaggregate here: It has been brought to my attention that this post might be misinterpreted as a disparagement of either Stephen Kruiser or Kinsey Schofield, which is certainly not my intention.

Being misunderstood is a common hazard of gestalt logic. Sometimes I think of things as obviously connected and, not bothering to explain the connections, express myself in apparent non sequiturs that others connect in ways that seem logical to them — but which aren’t the connections I intended.

Anyway, I’d been doing the whole “Demi Lovato bikini” shtick with the MSNBC/Olbermann episode — it produced a 67% increase in traffic, BTW — and so, when Instapundit introduced an MSNBC-related PJTV episode by noting “Stephen Kruiser gets a new friend” . . . Do you see the gestalt logic here?

I had made the same Rule 5 point in August, when former Miss California contestant Brandi Milloy made her PJTV debut:

OK, anybody who ever questioned Roger Simon‘s judgment — his ability to spot top-quality video news talent — start apologizing now. . .
My advice to Roger: Change the name PJTV to “BrandiTV.”

I’m not saying that all video personalities have to look like Brandi Milloy or Kinsey Schofield. I am saying that the McLuhanesque requirements of a visual medium dictate that aesthetics must be part of the programming considerations.

Am I a cynic to assume that Kinsey Schofield was hired for her “eye candy” appeal rather than because of her writing ability? Yes, indeed, I am. And the day that PJTV hires an on-camera personality who looks like Barbara Mikulski, I will apologize for my cynicism.

But you and I both know you’re going to wait a long time for that apology — probably until hell freezes over — and I am certainly not going to apologize for explaining how the world actually works.

UPDATE II: I know we’re all grateful to learn that Katie Perry will never pose nude, but probably not as grateful as we are to know that Donald Douglas will never pose nude. At any rate, dibs on the “Kinsey Schofield nude” Google-bomb.

UPDATE III: In for a dime, in for a dollar — Kinsey Schofield’s mama hates me:

I’m obviously not going to “win” in this kind of situation. (“Why is Stacy picking on a girl?”) But here is Kinsey Schofield’s “about” page in its entirety:

Recently recognized as #25 in The 100 Greatest Women in Social Media, Kinsey Schofield was born and raised in Texas. Cart-wheeling her way into the spotlight at an early age; she proudly represented The Dallas Cowboys football team as a Jr. Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader. Kinsey homeschooled from fourth grade until college, immediately finding a calling in front of the camera and pursued entertainment while solidifying her marketing instincts in the class room.
A nationally recognized writer, social media strategist, and TV personality; Kinsey was chosen as a cast member of E!’s Party Monsters Cabo, where she won over International Superstar, P. Diddy. Party Monsters Cabo was a Survivor-esque competition based in Cabo San Lucas that featured celebrities- 50 Cent, Brody Jenner, Carmen Electra, and Lil’ Jon to name a few. Contestants were given 24 hours to throw parties for some of Hollywood’s elite using limited resources in a foreign country.
Mixing business with pleasure, the self proclaimed “Pop Culture Connoisseur” worked as a Fashion & Entertainment contributor for Arizona’s largest entertainment weekly, AZ Weekly Magazine. Through AZ Weekly, Kinsey was able to dish about fashion trends and interview some of her favorite celebrities like Hayley Williams of Paramore and designer, Ashley Paige. Additional published work includes an interview with Cindy McCain for So Scottsdale Magazine, a small write up regarding pop culture’s influence on the election in The Arizona Republic, and Celebrity Beauty Secrets on FOXNEWS.COM’s iMAG.
Kinsey has been seen multiple times on ABC 15?s Sonoran Living and Phoenix’s Fox 10 News, E! News, Reality Binge, MTV, Strategy Room on Fox News, and has become a recurring panelist on Byron Allen’s, The Gossip Queens, as well as Red Eye w/Greg Gutfeld on The Fox News Channel. She has appeared in The Phoenix New Times, AZ Weekly Magazine, Las Vegas Weekly Magazine and Runway Beauty Magazine. She was even featured on the cover of Entrepreneur Magazine discussing social media and celebrity ghost blogging.
Living in Los Angeles, CA, she continues to write, contributing to Examiner.com as their official Celebrity Social Media Expert. Kinsey also currently contributes to DailyFill, MovieFill, and AlloyTV as a host; where she has interviewed the likes of Ashton Kutcher, Jason Segel, and Kristen Stewart to name a few. Most recently Kinsey was heard filling in as “The News Girl” on The Adam Carolla Show. [Episodes 1 & 2]

You see that Kinsey’s status as a “nationally recognized writer” is asserted, rather than demonstrated.

At Examiner.com, her most recent contribution was “10 HILARIOUS Jersey Shore tweets” — soon to eclipse Burke’s Reflections on the Revolution in France among the most influential conservative treatises in history.

To clarify: I’m 100% in favor of pretty girls being TV stars. I’m also 100% in favor of pretty girls being writers. But a career as a TV star does not entitle a pretty girl to acclaim as a writer.

However, I was pleased to see that Kinsey shares my contempt for Cousin Meg. Unfortunately, she also takes a shot at Bristol Palin:

Meghan McCain sucks. The daughter of John McCain, Meggie spends her time writing books with words like “dirty” and “sexy” in the title (when there is absolutely nothing dirty or sexy within), TwitPic’ing web-cam shots of her rack and hanging out with fame-whore Tila Tequila. Rumer Willis, Sean Stewart, Ashley Hamilton, Bristol Palin – go away. Most celebrities’ children who go into the entertainment industry have absolutely no redeeming qualities nor an ounce of talent.

Also, from the same interview:

If you are currently in high school, or even college, and Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin’” is your ringtone, I hope you get your ass kicked. Your parents probably conceived you to that song and, frankly, that is gross. This move is not retro or cool–and it pretty much signifies to the world that you’re still a virgin.

Where does the gestalt logic lead there?

UPDATE IV: The comic opera continues:

But I have no basis to judge her as a writer. For all I know, she may be capable of composing essays as incisive as anything ever penned by Bill Buckley, and was just slumming as a reality-TV personality.

What I was saying is that she was hired to be on camera because she looks good on camera — which is, I think it fair to say, a big part of how people get jobs on TV.

Also: She’s 25. When I was 25, I was driving a forklift. Perhaps I ought to go back to that.

Category: Rule 5

Comments

21 Responses to “Finally, PJTV Discovers Rule 5”

  1. ThomasD
    November 7th, 2010 @ 11:25 pm

    There’s a fine line between cynical and bitter.

  2. Kinseyschofield
    November 8th, 2010 @ 2:57 am

    You are obsessed with me and that creeps me out.

  3. Blog Dog
    November 8th, 2010 @ 11:08 am

    Stephen Kruiser isn’t nearly as funny as he thinks he is. As for Schofield, I think the “asserted rather than demonstrated” covers it.

  4. David R. Graham
    November 9th, 2010 @ 4:50 am

    Concur with Belvedere, lighten up.