The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

Desperate New Smear Against Christine O’Donnell: ‘She Turned Me Into a Newt’

Posted on | September 18, 2010 | 114 Comments

We knew they were desperate, but no one suspected the Left would turn this into a literal witch-hunt:

“I dabbled into witchcraft. I hung around people who were doing these things. I’m not making this stuff up. . . . One of my first dates with a witch was on a satanic altar, and I didn’t know it. . . . We went to a movie and then had a midnight picnic on a satanic altar.”

Typical witch pickup line: “Want to go see a movie down at the multiplex and then . . . oh, I don’t know . . . hang out with Beelzebub?”

Speaking of women the Left hates, did you hear what Sarah Palin said in Iowa? “I want to get to Delaware very soon and start knocking on doors.” I put in a call to one of my contacts in the Palin camp, who said they haven’t scheduled that yet. They’re still working on plans for Sarah’s fall campaign tour.

One hears a lot of pundits yammering about how Palin is unpopular in Blue states, but I think that’s one of those Conventional Wisdom things that would crumble at first contact with reality.

If I were in the business of advising political candidates — as opposed to being strictly a neutral and objective journalistic observer — I’d tell Palin to make Delaware the first stop on her fall itinerary and use her speech at the big rally to push back at the attacks on O’Donnell. 

Palin could make a joke about the punditry’s favorite anti-O’Donnell meme: “The Democrats have a new slogan: ‘If you like masturbation and higher taxes, vote for Chris Coons!’ But Christine O’Donnell is against higher taxes and, I don’t know if she’s seen the latest scientific studies, but there’s a strong correlation between excessive masturbation and being a total loser — as Chris Coons will prove on Nov. 2.”

Speaking of total losers, did you hear about Bill Maher’s latest joke? (I mean, other than his dating life.) Maher said this Friday:

Isn’t Obama’s big problem is that he does everything half-assed? Maybe it’s because he’s only half black. You know? It’s that, if he was a, if this, if he was fully black, I’m telling you, he would be a better president. There’s a white man in him holding him back because everything is half-assed. The stimulus was half-assed, healthcare is half-assed, let’s talk about Afghanistan.

Of course, I’m strictly a neutral and objective journalistic observer, but if I were offering advice to Bill Maher, I’d warn him that making flippant comments about such sensitive topics could be unfortunately controversial. IYKWIMAITYD.

Also, I’d advise Maher to stop masturbating so much.

And for anyone who didn’t get the joke in the headline:

Category: Christine O'Donnell, Delaware, Election, Sarah Palin

Comments

114 Responses to “Desperate New Smear Against Christine O’Donnell: ‘She Turned Me Into a Newt’”

  1. Fred
    September 19th, 2010 @ 11:13 pm

    Is Bill Maher suggesting that “dabbling in witchcraft” is disqualifying, or even particularly unusual? Living here in the Northeast, I can tell you that there are quite a few around here(more women than men) who have been Wiccans at some point in their lives. I think for many its a feminist rite of passage. A lot of women, both liberal and conservative, may see their own “spiritual journey” being mocked here. I don’t think that that’s what Bill Maher is looking for.

  2. Ellie Light
    September 19th, 2010 @ 11:52 pm

    Bill hates her because she doesn’t practise human sacrifice like he does.

  3. papertiger
    September 20th, 2010 @ 4:03 am

    #1 Joe

    I hope she takes Bill up on the offer.
    Two reasons.
    Bill set the stipulation that he would keep releasing clips until she shows up. That’s a verbal contract. In one fell swoop she can nip all these televised nastygrams right in the bud.
    If he renigs she can sue him.

    Two it’s free national exposure, making poor old Coons look like yesterdays leftovers. Imagine the fun she could have with this. Why she could make her entrance flying in on a broom! There’s no end to the creativeity.

    And Lets face it. Who would you rather see Christine sit down with, Bill Maher or some stodgy panel from Face the Nation?

    That’s easy math, buddy.

  4. Fishersville Mike: Witchcraft or which craft?
    September 20th, 2010 @ 6:10 am

    […] or which craft? Christine O'Donnell and witchcraft? Sounds like time for a Frank Sinatra song. Posted by Mike at 7:11 PM […]

  5. TJ Parker
    September 20th, 2010 @ 7:35 am

    Yah, like you guys would still be in love with this woman, if you’d have known – 3 weeks ago – that she was having lesbian dates on a Satanic altar and had dabbled in the Black Arts. How does someone who dabbled in Satanism bash an opponent who had dabbled only in Marxism?

    Your panic is evident.

  6. M. Simon
    September 20th, 2010 @ 8:49 am

    TJ,

    This is going to surprise the HELL out of you but I’m an Aleister Crowley fan and count many socons as friends.

    You have no IDEA how big the tent is this year. No frickkin idea.

    Nov. 2010 is not just going to be a wave. It is going to be a burial.

    Oh. Yeah. O’Donnell wins.

    As WC said: “If Hitler invaded hell I would make at least a favorable reference to the devil in the House of Commons.”

  7. clifford
    September 20th, 2010 @ 11:58 am

    I think O’Donnel should start bringing a duck to campaign stops to prove that she is, in fact, not a witch. Great theatre to drive home the point that would be understood by most all under 55. Double points if she puts a beard on the duck.

  8. willis
    September 20th, 2010 @ 12:06 pm

    Christine as witchy woman just doesn’t resonate. Pelosi…now there’s a woman that personifies the part. And no danger of inciting masturbation at all.

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    September 22nd, 2010 @ 12:16 pm

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