The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

‘Eric Stratton, Republican Campaign Spokesman, Damned Glad to Meet Ya!’

Posted on | August 10, 2010 | 15 Comments

After GQ reported on Rand Paul’s madcap, zany and possibly felonious collegiate pranks, the Republican candidate’s campaign unwisely responded with ominous argle-bargle about investigating its “legal options.”

As a widely recognized New Media strategist — lots of people recognize me, and I sometimes call myself a “New Media strategist” — permit me to advise that threatening a libel suit is always a bad idea in politics. This is especially good advice when it comes to decades-old tales of degenerate youth that have the ring of authenticity.

No one who might conceivably vote for Ron Paul’s son should be shocked by reports that Rand liked to burn a bit of doobage back in the day. We may next learn that, during his sophomore year, Rand Paul won first prize in a Rocky Horror Picture Show costume contest, dressed as Magenta. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if Rand Paul’s campaign headquarters resembled my college dorm room circa October 1978, complete with a drunk Delta Zeta passed out stark naked on the floor. (Hi, Tammy S.!)

Republicans might get a lot more younger voters if they’d stop trying to be the party of Dean Wormer — “No more fun of any kind!” — and at least admit that, once upon a Pledge Week, they boogied down with Otis Day & the Knights:

Ladies and gentlemen, I’ll be brief. The issue here is not whether we broke a few rules, or took a few liberties with our female party guests – we did. But you can’t hold a whole fraternity responsible for the behavior of a few, sick perverted individuals. For if you do, then shouldn’t we blame the whole fraternity system? And if the whole fraternity system is guilty, then isn’t this an indictment of our educational institutions in general? I put it to you, Greg – isn’t this an indictment of our entire American society? Well, you can do whatever you want to us, but we’re not going to sit here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America.

Don’t think of it as work. The whole point is just to enjoy yourself.

Category: Kentucky, Scandal

Comments

15 Responses to “‘Eric Stratton, Republican Campaign Spokesman, Damned Glad to Meet Ya!’”

  1. Joe
    August 10th, 2010 @ 7:01 pm

    I prefer the Otter/Mrs. Wormer lesson on the proper use of the words sensual and sensuous.

    Well that and Bluto breaking out the ladder.

  2. Joe
    August 10th, 2010 @ 3:01 pm

    I prefer the Otter/Mrs. Wormer lesson on the proper use of the words sensual and sensuous.

    Well that and Bluto breaking out the ladder.

  3. Andrew the Noisy
    August 10th, 2010 @ 7:06 pm

    It wasn’t over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?

  4. Andrew the Noisy
    August 10th, 2010 @ 3:06 pm

    It wasn’t over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?

  5. Joe
    August 10th, 2010 @ 9:53 pm

    This guy is probably an Obama supporter.

    Memo to his girlfriend, run, don’t walk.

    While off topic, it could arguably be linked to the opening golf scene in AH.

  6. Joe
    August 10th, 2010 @ 5:53 pm

    This guy is probably an Obama supporter.

    Memo to his girlfriend, run, don’t walk.

    While off topic, it could arguably be linked to the opening golf scene in AH.

  7. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX
    August 10th, 2010 @ 10:49 pm

    Just so long as everyone understands that this wasn’t kidnapping-kidnapping……

  8. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX
    August 10th, 2010 @ 6:49 pm

    Just so long as everyone understands that this wasn’t kidnapping-kidnapping……

  9. Live Free Or Die
    August 10th, 2010 @ 10:54 pm

    Rules For Radicals, Rule 4: Republicans must be pure as the wind driven snow, in Aliskyite eyes.

    Nice to see the State Flag of Tennessee in the background of Dean Wormer. The same one LGF thought was an Aryan Nation flag back when those Raaaaacist! Teapartiers lined the steps of Congress, and supposedly spit on Congessmen as they made their way to vote for ObamaCare.

  10. Live Free Or Die
    August 10th, 2010 @ 6:54 pm

    Rules For Radicals, Rule 4: Republicans must be pure as the wind driven snow, in Aliskyite eyes.

    Nice to see the State Flag of Tennessee in the background of Dean Wormer. The same one LGF thought was an Aryan Nation flag back when those Raaaaacist! Teapartiers lined the steps of Congress, and supposedly spit on Congessmen as they made their way to vote for ObamaCare.

  11. dr kill
    August 10th, 2010 @ 11:54 pm

    The biggest reason there are no good GOP candidates is the no-fun-allowed rule.

  12. dr kill
    August 10th, 2010 @ 7:54 pm

    The biggest reason there are no good GOP candidates is the no-fun-allowed rule.

  13. Ben (The Tiger)
    August 11th, 2010 @ 12:38 am

    Yes.

  14. Ben (The Tiger)
    August 10th, 2010 @ 8:38 pm

    Yes.

  15. Boy Quayle, Republican Party Animal? : The Other McCain
    August 11th, 2010 @ 10:30 pm

    […] (Landers is the name of one of the characters from the movie Boogie Nights.)I think he should hire Eric Stratton, GOP spokesman. You got to admit: Ben’s doing a great job of making everybody forget about Rand Paul and […]