The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

Necramericon 5:1-16

Posted on | July 6, 2010 | 13 Comments

by Smitty (inspired by Insty)

  1. And after the first year in office, when the political capital had been thoroughly squandered on the ruinous Healthcare Prevention Legislation,
  2. Which was passed, despite a late flowering of political vigor on the part of the people,
  3. That, yea, even seemed to hint at a possible resurgence of Will to Liberty in time for the mid-term elections, was the dread ritual begun.
  4. For the sorcerous truth was that those who had organized the communities, purportedly in the service of Socialism, were really servants of Cthulhu. And they had discovered and harnessed the power of R’lyeh itself, laughing at the knowledge that the Prophet Lovecraft had hoodwinked generations, passing on the jape that the epicenter of evil lay beneath the ‘Peaceful Sea‘.
  5. This had been the real source of their power to subvert the media, and academia, and the culture, and the Demo(n)cratic Party.
  6. And they took counsel for how they might bring about ultimate destruction. Skeptics in their circle argued it was too soon. The stars were not aligned. The material components were not gathered. The American people insufficiently reduced to dependency.
  7. The madder members of the cabal, the priests, sanity sufficiently frayed, cared no longer for prudence. The chose to immanentize the escargot. Eschaton! countered the politicians. Shut up! screamed the mad priests, while the dumb media cowed.
  8. Lo, they did place their Deepwater Horizon rig beyond petroleum; beyond prudence; beyond perspicacity.
  9. In a ritual gone wrong (could such an undertaking go right?), did 11 innocents suffer ultimately, knowing not the evil wellspring now unleashed from the depths.
  10. But the amniotic fluid was successfully released in that glorious explosion!
  11. And that thick, malevolent fluid did disperse, carried by the currents, spreading death and ruin wherever it went.
  12. And the priests did ponder, and look at the stars, and scratch their naughty bits, and flay themselves, and consider just what would be the next sign.
  13. And the officials did malinger, and blame their predecessors, and shoo away the curious, lest the tell-tale signs of their perfidy become known.
  14. And the media didn’t question much, useful dupes that they were, trusting in the priests and officials to continue to tell them what to think, as had been done for so long before, yet beginning to worry about what their duplicity was going to do to their ratings.
  15. Until at last, the moment came. The earth shook, and the volcanoes spewed, and the air was Los Angeles-crappy, and the water maintained its constant funk, and the hipsters gazed at the reports and deemed them less impressive than 2012,
  16. When suddenly the surface of the water off the coast of Louisiana was pierced by a giant, unnatural, rogue wave triggering, sky darkenin–
Category: Farce

Comments

13 Responses to “Necramericon 5:1-16”

  1. jefferson101
    July 6th, 2010 @ 10:26 pm

    And this is from whence comes James Carville, mounted on a flaming ‘Gator, right?

    I loves it!

  2. Jeff Weimer
    July 7th, 2010 @ 1:42 am

    gg – please try to keep up.

  3. Marianne7
    July 7th, 2010 @ 9:05 am

    Poor gg. He could have actually read a book or two. Start now! Trust me, it doesn’t hurt. If you need help with big words, check for a literacy course in your area.

  4. Erich Madden
    July 7th, 2010 @ 10:35 am

    So how is that new blog coming, gg? You know you want to leave and start your own, what with all the lengthy rambling irrelevant off-topic comments. RSM already has other conservative blog-children, you could be his first Lefty Moonbat blog-child – the black sheep of the blog-family, so to speak! Maybe you could get young4eyes to be your blogging sidekick – your very own Smitty? I’ll even help you out with a name, you could call it LggF, not to be confused with any other similarly named blogs. Then you could be the blogmeister, and do whatever you want. My good buddy Charlie J. tells me that the funnest part is banning people from your blog. Can I be the first person banned from your new blog, please?

    -Erich “Proudly banned from LggF” Madden

  5. Rich Fader
    July 7th, 2010 @ 12:19 pm

    And Richard spake and said, Off this s**t troll.

  6. Erich Madden
    July 8th, 2010 @ 1:12 am

    Darn….I was so looking forward to being banned from the LggF blog.

    gg: ” As it is, you won’t see much of me from the coming Monday.”

    Promises, promises…..

  7. Saturday Robo-Love
    July 10th, 2010 @ 2:49 pm

    […] The Other McCain hasn’t so much lost a daughter as he’s gained a son and the always adept Smitty manages a FMJRA with a hangover (guessing about the hangover – projection on my part. I know I would be) What’s with all the whining Smitty? Someone didn’t link one of you posts? I’ll admit, It is worthy of linkage. […]