The Other McCain

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Sad Ending for USA in the Quadrennial ‘Let’s Make Fun of Foreigners’ Festival

Posted on | June 26, 2010 | 21 Comments

Third World 2
Effete Pansies 1
American imperialism ain’t what it used to be:

RUSTENBURG, South Africa — In the end, the U.S. team was undone by what had haunted the Americans throughout the World Cup. By giving up early goals, the Americans fell to Ghana 2-1 on Saturday and were knocked out of the tournament.
With the score tied at 1 at the end of regulation, the game went into extra time. And once again, the USA’s slow start resulted in the game-winner as Asamoah Gyan knocked Carlos Bocanegra off the ball and finished with a pretty left-footed volley to take the lead in the 93rd minute . . .

Thus dies the red-blooded American dream of kicking butt all the way to the world championship of this silly sport for fags and foreigners. However, thanks to my soon-to-be son-in-law, El Romantico, I have an excuse to keep watching, as Argentina plays Mexico on Sunday morning.

Also, checking the schedule for Sunday afternoon, I’ll be cheering for England against Germany. (Limeys vs. Krauts — just like the good ol’ days.) A win for the limey poofters would set up a quarter-final match in which the Brits will taunt the Argentines about the Falklands and the Argentines will make fun of the Brits’ bad teeth.

World Cup 2010: If We Can’t Mock Foreigners, What’s the Point?

Category: Foreigners, Sports

Comments

21 Responses to “Sad Ending for USA in the Quadrennial ‘Let’s Make Fun of Foreigners’ Festival”

  1. Blake
    June 27th, 2010 @ 12:29 am

    Well, the USA isn’t quite a third world economy yet, which seems to be a prerequisite for a World Cup powerhouse.

    However, with the amount of debt the US has, it’s only a matter of time…

  2. Blake
    June 26th, 2010 @ 8:29 pm

    Well, the USA isn’t quite a third world economy yet, which seems to be a prerequisite for a World Cup powerhouse.

    However, with the amount of debt the US has, it’s only a matter of time…

  3. jefferson101
    June 27th, 2010 @ 1:08 am

    All right! Finally I can quit paying lip service to Soccer, and go back to my usual relationship to it, which is indifference.

    Perhaps “indifference” isn’t the right word, though. Indifference usually implies a benign form of a relationship, and my approach is closer to a malignant contempt.

    If I want to watch a boring game, give me a 12 inning Baseball game tied at 2-2 after nine. At least that has the virtue of having some pitching challenges of interest.

    Soccer. They have to sing songs and blow horns in the stands, or they’d all go to sleep. And that’s a bummer, since they paid for a ticket.

    Heh.

  4. jefferson101
    June 26th, 2010 @ 9:08 pm

    All right! Finally I can quit paying lip service to Soccer, and go back to my usual relationship to it, which is indifference.

    Perhaps “indifference” isn’t the right word, though. Indifference usually implies a benign form of a relationship, and my approach is closer to a malignant contempt.

    If I want to watch a boring game, give me a 12 inning Baseball game tied at 2-2 after nine. At least that has the virtue of having some pitching challenges of interest.

    Soccer. They have to sing songs and blow horns in the stands, or they’d all go to sleep. And that’s a bummer, since they paid for a ticket.

    Heh.

  5. Estragon
    June 27th, 2010 @ 1:12 am

    America is the greatest country in the world not just because of our freedom and constitutional form of government, or even because of the resilience and ingenuity of our people. America is the greatest country in the world because foreigners are filthy, smelly pansies with bad teeth.

    Their women have hairy armpits, too.

  6. Estragon
    June 26th, 2010 @ 9:12 pm

    America is the greatest country in the world not just because of our freedom and constitutional form of government, or even because of the resilience and ingenuity of our people. America is the greatest country in the world because foreigners are filthy, smelly pansies with bad teeth.

    Their women have hairy armpits, too.

  7. Jamie
    June 27th, 2010 @ 1:22 am

    I remembered why I hate soccer after watching one Ghana player fall on his butt after slipping on wet grass and having to be carried off the field on a stretcher while another being substituted hugged and/or high fived every single freaking non-American he came in contact with just to waste the remaining playing time.

    Give me American football any day.

  8. Jamie
    June 26th, 2010 @ 9:22 pm

    I remembered why I hate soccer after watching one Ghana player fall on his butt after slipping on wet grass and having to be carried off the field on a stretcher while another being substituted hugged and/or high fived every single freaking non-American he came in contact with just to waste the remaining playing time.

    Give me American football any day.

  9. Dandapani
    June 27th, 2010 @ 1:25 am

    Soccer is for liberals.

  10. Dandapani
    June 26th, 2010 @ 9:25 pm

    Soccer is for liberals.

  11. Joe
    June 27th, 2010 @ 2:28 am

    It is for the best. We do not want this socialistic contagion spreading any further than it has in our great country. Baseball is in full swing and football preseaon is not that far away.

    It is a blessing. Really.

  12. Joe
    June 26th, 2010 @ 10:28 pm

    It is for the best. We do not want this socialistic contagion spreading any further than it has in our great country. Baseball is in full swing and football preseaon is not that far away.

    It is a blessing. Really.

  13. jefferson101
    June 27th, 2010 @ 2:51 am

    Estragon:

    I already said it, and so I quote myself. “Since I am neither emasculated or European, I could care less about Soccer.”

    I think we are singing from the same Hymnal.

    As long as there was a chance that we’d do what we occasionally do in Hockey, and actually win the whole thing, I’m down. But once the chance evaporates, my interest is equally gone with the wind. National Pride aside, my tolerance for boredom only goes so far, and Soccer exceeds it.

    OTOH, did you see those Dutch girls in the short orange skirts? I could live with unshaved armpits, in some circumstances…..

  14. jefferson101
    June 26th, 2010 @ 10:51 pm

    Estragon:

    I already said it, and so I quote myself. “Since I am neither emasculated or European, I could care less about Soccer.”

    I think we are singing from the same Hymnal.

    As long as there was a chance that we’d do what we occasionally do in Hockey, and actually win the whole thing, I’m down. But once the chance evaporates, my interest is equally gone with the wind. National Pride aside, my tolerance for boredom only goes so far, and Soccer exceeds it.

    OTOH, did you see those Dutch girls in the short orange skirts? I could live with unshaved armpits, in some circumstances…..

  15. Ran / Si Vis Pacem
    June 27th, 2010 @ 3:19 am

    Goals? Hockey has a “World Cup”? Ghana has a team? Impressive.

  16. Ran / Si Vis Pacem
    June 26th, 2010 @ 11:19 pm

    Goals? Hockey has a “World Cup”? Ghana has a team? Impressive.

  17. Xmas
    June 27th, 2010 @ 9:45 am

    I didn’t want to be a downer after the Ghana win, but the first thought in my head as I was leaving the stadium was this: Well, that’s all of the rich countries out of the cup, there goes all of the tourist money South Africa was hoping for. My second thought was, “I hope it doesn’t take 4 hours to get back to Jo’burg from here.” (It took 5).

    With England or Germany going home tonight, I think the winner of that game and the Netherlands will be the left with high spending fans.

  18. Xmas
    June 27th, 2010 @ 5:45 am

    I didn’t want to be a downer after the Ghana win, but the first thought in my head as I was leaving the stadium was this: Well, that’s all of the rich countries out of the cup, there goes all of the tourist money South Africa was hoping for. My second thought was, “I hope it doesn’t take 4 hours to get back to Jo’burg from here.” (It took 5).

    With England or Germany going home tonight, I think the winner of that game and the Netherlands will be the left with high spending fans.

  19. Paul A'Barge
    June 27th, 2010 @ 1:50 pm

    Soccer is gay.

    I’m glad it’s over. Give it a rest.

  20. Paul A'Barge
    June 27th, 2010 @ 9:50 am

    Soccer is gay.

    I’m glad it’s over. Give it a rest.

  21. A. Charles Johnson : The Other McCain
    June 28th, 2010 @ 3:17 am

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