The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

The Woman That Feminists Hate Most

Posted on | June 4, 2010 | 27 Comments

No, it’s not Sarah Palin. I’m talking about “Just Mommy”:

Like everyone else, I learned to think of “mother” as something you become after you’ve proven that you can do grown-up stuff. . . .

Well, she found out different and you might say the story has a happy ending. You might say that, unless you’re a feminist, in which case the ending will almost certainly make your head explode.

For all the talk about “choice,” there is one choice feminists don’t find acceptable, and “Just Mommy” made that choice. Read the whole thing.

Category: Family, Feminism, Religion

Comments

27 Responses to “The Woman That Feminists Hate Most”

  1. Cindy
    June 5th, 2010 @ 1:48 am

    Haha! Thanks for the link! I feel like a major-league blogger now.

  2. Cindy
    June 4th, 2010 @ 8:48 pm

    Haha! Thanks for the link! I feel like a major-league blogger now.

  3. Robert Stacy McCain
    June 5th, 2010 @ 1:50 am

    “I feel like a major-league blogger now.”

    Which isn’t as cool as being a major-league Mommy, but . . .

  4. Robert Stacy McCain
    June 4th, 2010 @ 8:50 pm

    “I feel like a major-league blogger now.”

    Which isn’t as cool as being a major-league Mommy, but . . .

  5. Darren
    June 5th, 2010 @ 2:45 am

    Hi, first time reader and replier.

    I’m a male, and a feminist. I read the post “Just Mommy”. I think it’s great that this woman found personal and spiritual fulfillment.

    “there is one choice feminists don’t find acceptable, and “Just Mommy” made that choice”

    I was curious; what choice is it that feminists don’t find acceptable? Could it be being a Mommy? I don’t think so. I certainly have nothing against that. Then I gave it some thought.

    Being “just” a mom in this world seems a strange choice UNLESS you buy into the whole submission gig. Under that paradigm, another party (the husband and/or God) is the bread winner which allows the lady to be just a mommy. After all, who’s going to buy the diapers and food? Someone in the family needs to “wear the pants”. This is mainstream tradition, but it’s not a good one because it leaves the woman financially dependent. I think the feminist way to be is a mommy AND a [insert job title], if you can.

    So I think I can identify the ill choice here, and that’s “submission” (filling the role of help-meet to a faithful and hard-working man, and looking forward to a life of (cover your eyes, feminists) submission to God’s will–and my husband’s). The definition of submission is surrendering power and control to another. I’m a young guy, not hip to marriage, but unless it’s standard for the man to submit to the wife and/or the mother isn’t “just” a mommy, it’s not a fair relationship.

  6. Darren
    June 4th, 2010 @ 9:45 pm

    Hi, first time reader and replier.

    I’m a male, and a feminist. I read the post “Just Mommy”. I think it’s great that this woman found personal and spiritual fulfillment.

    “there is one choice feminists don’t find acceptable, and “Just Mommy” made that choice”

    I was curious; what choice is it that feminists don’t find acceptable? Could it be being a Mommy? I don’t think so. I certainly have nothing against that. Then I gave it some thought.

    Being “just” a mom in this world seems a strange choice UNLESS you buy into the whole submission gig. Under that paradigm, another party (the husband and/or God) is the bread winner which allows the lady to be just a mommy. After all, who’s going to buy the diapers and food? Someone in the family needs to “wear the pants”. This is mainstream tradition, but it’s not a good one because it leaves the woman financially dependent. I think the feminist way to be is a mommy AND a [insert job title], if you can.

    So I think I can identify the ill choice here, and that’s “submission” (filling the role of help-meet to a faithful and hard-working man, and looking forward to a life of (cover your eyes, feminists) submission to God’s will–and my husband’s). The definition of submission is surrendering power and control to another. I’m a young guy, not hip to marriage, but unless it’s standard for the man to submit to the wife and/or the mother isn’t “just” a mommy, it’s not a fair relationship.

  7. Miss Sharon
    June 5th, 2010 @ 3:32 am

    Whoa. How wonderfully validating for me! I’ve been “out of sync” most of my life. I love the art of homemaking and raising children. The possibilities have been endless and intrinsically rewarding but NEVER socially valued. The feminist movement has done more harm than good for most people IMO…Seems like everything is upside down. A conservative ascendancy across the culture would be a Godsend;)

  8. Miss Sharon
    June 4th, 2010 @ 10:32 pm

    Whoa. How wonderfully validating for me! I’ve been “out of sync” most of my life. I love the art of homemaking and raising children. The possibilities have been endless and intrinsically rewarding but NEVER socially valued. The feminist movement has done more harm than good for most people IMO…Seems like everything is upside down. A conservative ascendancy across the culture would be a Godsend;)

  9. Live Free Or Die
    June 5th, 2010 @ 3:35 am

    In other news, ‘National Offend A Feminist Week’, like unemployment benefits, has been extended, until such time that offending feminists is no longer needed.
    Still no word on when ‘Everybody Draw Mommy Day’ becomes official, or if fatwas will be decreed for the offensive images, from NARAL/Planned Barrenhood/NOW/The Margaret Sanger Adoration Society.

  10. Live Free Or Die
    June 4th, 2010 @ 10:35 pm

    In other news, ‘National Offend A Feminist Week’, like unemployment benefits, has been extended, until such time that offending feminists is no longer needed.
    Still no word on when ‘Everybody Draw Mommy Day’ becomes official, or if fatwas will be decreed for the offensive images, from NARAL/Planned Barrenhood/NOW/The Margaret Sanger Adoration Society.

  11. chercast
    June 5th, 2010 @ 3:49 am

    Very nice touch to recognize the reform work of this blogger….as a counterpoint to the good reform work Nikki Haley and her family are doing. Sarah Palin is the leader with the warmth of the mommy and the spine of a leader. God spreads his gifts as he sees fit. As Tiny Tim says, “God bless us, everyone”.

  12. chercast
    June 4th, 2010 @ 10:49 pm

    Very nice touch to recognize the reform work of this blogger….as a counterpoint to the good reform work Nikki Haley and her family are doing. Sarah Palin is the leader with the warmth of the mommy and the spine of a leader. God spreads his gifts as he sees fit. As Tiny Tim says, “God bless us, everyone”.

  13. ValuesAreImportant
    June 5th, 2010 @ 5:04 am

    Miss Sharon – “The possibilities have been endless and intrinsically rewarding but NEVER socially valued.”

    You need to start hanging out socially with a different group of people. If your social valuation comes from the media or entertainment industry, then you’re absolutely correct, but that’s not where you should get your social valuation from, and if your peer group does not respect motherhood, you need to get better friends, with decent, traditional values.

  14. ValuesAreImportant
    June 5th, 2010 @ 12:04 am

    Miss Sharon – “The possibilities have been endless and intrinsically rewarding but NEVER socially valued.”

    You need to start hanging out socially with a different group of people. If your social valuation comes from the media or entertainment industry, then you’re absolutely correct, but that’s not where you should get your social valuation from, and if your peer group does not respect motherhood, you need to get better friends, with decent, traditional values.

  15. goddessoftheclassroom
    June 5th, 2010 @ 10:40 am

    #3 Darren

    Life is a dance, and only one can lead. Many people flip out when they read St. Paul’s admonition, “Wives, submit to your husbands,” and they don’t read the rest of the epistle to get the metaphor in context. I think he is really saying that husband and wife have equally important but different roles in a marriage, and you must admit that this approach does eliminate competing (win-lose)and encourage cooperating (win-win).
    You’re right that a homemaker is financially dependent on her husband. A husband who cherishes his wife will make sure that she has her own spending money within the context of the family budget and enough life insurance to provide for his family should he die. The biggest risk, of course, is divorce, but when both husband and wife are committed to their marriage as Christ is to his Church (that’s the metaphor), divorce is unthinkable. Going into marriage with the idea, “If we don’t like this, we can get out of it” is not a true commitment.

    PS Cindy: when I was about the age you were, I had to do the same “what do you want to be?” essay with an illustration. I said that I wanted to be a stewardess because, being of limited artist ability, that was the only thing I could think of drawing at the time, and we couldn’t go to recess until we finished.

  16. goddessoftheclassroom
    June 5th, 2010 @ 5:40 am

    #3 Darren

    Life is a dance, and only one can lead. Many people flip out when they read St. Paul’s admonition, “Wives, submit to your husbands,” and they don’t read the rest of the epistle to get the metaphor in context. I think he is really saying that husband and wife have equally important but different roles in a marriage, and you must admit that this approach does eliminate competing (win-lose)and encourage cooperating (win-win).
    You’re right that a homemaker is financially dependent on her husband. A husband who cherishes his wife will make sure that she has her own spending money within the context of the family budget and enough life insurance to provide for his family should he die. The biggest risk, of course, is divorce, but when both husband and wife are committed to their marriage as Christ is to his Church (that’s the metaphor), divorce is unthinkable. Going into marriage with the idea, “If we don’t like this, we can get out of it” is not a true commitment.

    PS Cindy: when I was about the age you were, I had to do the same “what do you want to be?” essay with an illustration. I said that I wanted to be a stewardess because, being of limited artist ability, that was the only thing I could think of drawing at the time, and we couldn’t go to recess until we finished.

  17. republicanmother
    June 5th, 2010 @ 12:25 pm

    Bless your heart, Darren. In the Bible submission is not a bad word; it has a totally different context than the aggressor/victim dynamic you’re thinking of. Yes, a homemaker is financially dependent on her husband, but this is built on a trust that the secular “dog eat dog” world cannot understand. “As Christ gave Himself for the church” is a trust that passes understanding and is the spiritual bedrock we place all our hopes on.
    Being “just mommy” is not about diapers, cooking, and vacuuming, it’s about leading each child into that hope and planting them on the Solid Rock. That’s not an “ill” choice for me, that is my only reason for being.

  18. republicanmother
    June 5th, 2010 @ 8:25 am

    Bless your heart, Darren. In the Bible submission is not a bad word; it has a totally different context than the aggressor/victim dynamic you’re thinking of. Yes, a homemaker is financially dependent on her husband, but this is built on a trust that the secular “dog eat dog” world cannot understand. “As Christ gave Himself for the church” is a trust that passes understanding and is the spiritual bedrock we place all our hopes on.
    Being “just mommy” is not about diapers, cooking, and vacuuming, it’s about leading each child into that hope and planting them on the Solid Rock. That’s not an “ill” choice for me, that is my only reason for being.

  19. Nancy
    June 5th, 2010 @ 1:48 pm

    That is the life I aspired to. After 22 years in the workplace, I became a SAHM. I liked my life and myself. My husband didn’t. After three years, he has just asked me for a divorce. So, it is back into the workplace I go. Just pointing out that the homemaker dream is entirely dependent on your husband sharing that dream. Apparently, mine doesn’t.

  20. Nancy
    June 5th, 2010 @ 9:48 am

    That is the life I aspired to. After 22 years in the workplace, I became a SAHM. I liked my life and myself. My husband didn’t. After three years, he has just asked me for a divorce. So, it is back into the workplace I go. Just pointing out that the homemaker dream is entirely dependent on your husband sharing that dream. Apparently, mine doesn’t.

  21. republicanmother
    June 5th, 2010 @ 2:21 pm

    Nancy, I am so sorry for you. I think one of the casualties of the feminist movement was the view of women in the eyes of men. Many men now only look at their woman as the second paycheck, not as the mother of their children and the glue that holds their family together. I will put you on my prayer list.

  22. republicanmother
    June 5th, 2010 @ 10:21 am

    Nancy, I am so sorry for you. I think one of the casualties of the feminist movement was the view of women in the eyes of men. Many men now only look at their woman as the second paycheck, not as the mother of their children and the glue that holds their family together. I will put you on my prayer list.

  23. missanne
    June 5th, 2010 @ 5:44 pm

    Re. the Bible & the idea of submission.

    In a multi-culti world, isn’t it REQUIRED to submit to Islam?

    In America religion is supposed to be a choice.

    I do wish people would be even-handed when being dismissive of the Bible, but supportive of the Koran.

  24. missanne
    June 5th, 2010 @ 1:44 pm

    Re. the Bible & the idea of submission.

    In a multi-culti world, isn’t it REQUIRED to submit to Islam?

    In America religion is supposed to be a choice.

    I do wish people would be even-handed when being dismissive of the Bible, but supportive of the Koran.

  25. Darren
    June 9th, 2010 @ 4:43 am

    @ those who replied to me.

    Thanks for the additional insight. It never hurts to give things a second (or third) thought, and I can understand that the idea of submission as presented in the Bible is complex. I’m not so sure it’s all good, but if it brings you or any woman happiness and fulfillment, and the family is doing well, who am I to judge?

  26. Darren
    June 9th, 2010 @ 12:43 am

    @ those who replied to me.

    Thanks for the additional insight. It never hurts to give things a second (or third) thought, and I can understand that the idea of submission as presented in the Bible is complex. I’m not so sure it’s all good, but if it brings you or any woman happiness and fulfillment, and the family is doing well, who am I to judge?

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