The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

Humor: Possible Transcript From Deleted O’Keefe Cel Phone Video

Posted on | May 29, 2010 | 2 Comments

by Smitty

Patterico has the play by play of the confiscation of O’Keefe’s phone within the office of Sen. Mary “Louisiana Purchase” Landrieu, the “destruction” of that footage by U.S. Magistrate Daniel Knowles III, and the return of the phone to O’Keefe.

The key piece of evidence is supposed to be that

One of Senator Landrieu’s staff members (WITNESS 1) told BASEL and FLANAGAN that she did not report any phone problems and that the office was not experiencing any issues with the phone system.

Yeah, that could make the O’Keefe-as-Watergate campaign look as credible as the Asher Doctrine.

The exciting news is that O’Keefe was able to email the video off of the phone before the confiscation and subsequent deletion from the hardware. Our team of over-caffeinated lab forensics propeller-heads, working at an undisclosed location, have confirmed the following Big Scoop:
In the background of the video is a hardly recognizable Bill Clinton, with a rather interesting bit transcribed here:

Bill: I was able to shake Hillary’s goons for about 5 minutes. Prostate problems suck, but make for believable getaways sometimes.
[…]
Bill: OK, I’ll make this fast. Top Ramen, if you know who I mean, heh, wants to figure out if you’re interested in, now, listen carefully, a Senior Executive Council National Advisory Volunteer position. Repeat that back to me and write it down for further research. I want to make sure you got it. Heh. Yeah. Don’t worry about salary. Seriously. We went to a lot of trouble to recruit Snarlin’ Arlen for our team. So it would be quite a stain on the dress if you were to, you know, sink his battleship in the primary. Hahahaha.
[…]
Bill: Look, I’m no fan of Specter, either. But you gotta realize, he’s an old hand and a certified Bad Mike Foxtrot, as you military guys say. When I was President, I told Arlen to lay by his dish, but I’d be lying if I didn’t tell you I kept an eye on him.
[…]
Bill: I gotta go. There’s this goofy kid with a big nose causing a ruckus. You take care, Joe. You always were Hillary’s and my favorite Admiral.

We’ll post the whole thing just as soon as it’s released by O’Keefe’s email recipient. . .Will Folks. Oh, balls: never mind.

Category: Farce, Scandal

Comments

2 Responses to “Humor: Possible Transcript From Deleted O’Keefe Cel Phone Video”

  1. Estragon
    May 30th, 2010 @ 7:36 am

    Funny, especially if you “hear” it in a Clinton voice.

    O’Keefe and his crew were stupid. If they hadn’t tried for access to the phone wiring, they were in the clear. Just tape the secretary saying they were able to get incoming calls, ask her to check with the office manager to make sure, be reassured, release the tape.

    There would still be a potential “entering federal premises on false pretenses” charge, but given the facts and results, they could have expected no prosecution at all.

    Even so, they could have demanded a better deal or a jury trial. That would have been horrible publicity for Mary Landrieu, who the appointed U.S. Attorney for the NO district was trying to protect anyway. But if you are going to bluff you have to be ready for the raise.

  2. Estragon
    May 30th, 2010 @ 2:36 am

    Funny, especially if you “hear” it in a Clinton voice.

    O’Keefe and his crew were stupid. If they hadn’t tried for access to the phone wiring, they were in the clear. Just tape the secretary saying they were able to get incoming calls, ask her to check with the office manager to make sure, be reassured, release the tape.

    There would still be a potential “entering federal premises on false pretenses” charge, but given the facts and results, they could have expected no prosecution at all.

    Even so, they could have demanded a better deal or a jury trial. That would have been horrible publicity for Mary Landrieu, who the appointed U.S. Attorney for the NO district was trying to protect anyway. But if you are going to bluff you have to be ready for the raise.