The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

The Kind of Blog Post That You’re Thankful Someone Else Wrote

Posted on | May 24, 2010 | 63 Comments

South Carolina conservative blogger Will Folks confesses to having once, er, dated the married Republican gubernatorial candidate he’s been promoting:

Several years ago, prior to my marriage, I had an inappropriate physical relationship with Nikki.

Dude. Republicans already treat bloggers like whores, metaphorically. Now they’ll actually be expecting us to put out.

For the record, Nikki Haley calls this accusation “categorically and totally false.”

Bloggers just makin’ stuff up? I thought that was the media’s job.

At any rate, if GOP candidates think they can impose on me for sexual favors — trying to cop a feel in the backseat, telling me that they’ll “respect” me in the morning — they’re sadly mistaken. I’m not one of these blog-floozies like Will Folks, who lets sex-starved Republican women use and degrade him to satisfy their depraved lust.

Rumors that bathroom walls throughout South Carolina are scrawled with graffiti declaring Will Folks to be  “a dirty little GOP whore-boy” have not been confirmed. Yet.

UPDATE: Brian O’Connor at Red Dog Report:

[T]hese rumors do seem to be perfectly timed to take advantage of Haley’s popularity in the polls and recent Palin endorsement, to maximize the number of hits to Will Folk’s website.

Hey, I’ve got nothing against maximizing the hits, but there are limits even to my shamelessness. (You’ll notice I never actually posted the Hannah Giles bikini photo.) As to the Folks-Haley rumor, Erick Erickson sums it up best:

It’s a Rule of Nature: Hot Women Don’t Have Affairs With Ugly Poor Guys

The brutal truth. And despite my fabulous wealth and notorious Speedo, I’ve managed to avoid any compromising situations with the hordes of love-crazed blog-groupies who stalk me like teenage girls following the Jonas Brothers.

UPDATE II: If Disney’s looking to do a movie about this story, Dan Riehl’s got a title:

Honey, I Schtupped the Candidate

Starring Rick Moranis as Will Folks!

UPDATE III: Melissa Clouthier:

As usual, Stacy McCain makes me laugh.

Dr. Melissa has also managed to resist the love-crazed blog-groupies.

UPDATE IV: Thanks to the Associated Press, we now have this photograph of Will Folks, a.k.a., Deuce Bigalow, Blogger Gigolo. The AP reports:

In an exclusive interview with The Associated Press prior to his blog post, Folks would not discuss details of the relationship.
“I’m not going to paint pictures,” said Folks, who gave the interview on the condition his statements would not be published before he went public.

Right. And if the Associated Press starts asking questions about rumors that I had an “inappropriate relationship” with Alyssa Milano’s Twitter feed, I’m not going to “discuss details,” either.

Don’t judge me!

Category: Republicans, Scandal, South Carolina

Comments

63 Responses to “The Kind of Blog Post That You’re Thankful Someone Else Wrote”

  1. Joe
    May 24th, 2010 @ 11:01 pm

    Hey, isn’t that Will Folks in this video clip?

    I am sure Folks is going to say next these girls love him too.

  2. Joe
    May 24th, 2010 @ 6:01 pm

    Hey, isn’t that Will Folks in this video clip?

    I am sure Folks is going to say next these girls love him too.

  3. Joe
    May 24th, 2010 @ 11:30 pm

    Then again, American Conservative says there may be something here. Can a scratchy half grown beard get you laid in South Carolina?

  4. Joe
    May 24th, 2010 @ 6:30 pm

    Then again, American Conservative says there may be something here. Can a scratchy half grown beard get you laid in South Carolina?

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