The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

Bob Belvedere Cancels Peru Trip

Posted on | May 7, 2010 | 35 Comments

The Camp of the Saints blogger had been planning an expedition — a mission of mercy — to the rural village where Julia Manihauri lived:

A Peruvian mother of four was trapped in her bed for six months because of her giant breasts.
Julia Manihuari’s chest grew to a gigantic N cup after the birth of her third son seven years ago — leaving her unable to move, The Sun reported.
“It was awful,” she said. “If I tried to get up I would faint because my breasts were so heavy.”
Doctors believe she was suffering from a rare condition known as gigantomastia . . .

Bob Belvedere, founder of the Gigantomastia Society — dedicated to the study of this rare condition and the support of its victims — had already booked a flight to Lima. And then tragedy struck:

Surgeons had to cut 35 pounds of flesh from Manihuari’s breasts, fearing they could squash her lungs and kill her.
Manihuari emerged as a size 34B after the six-hour operation.

Belvedere and the Gigantomastia Society are now demanding that the White House designate the Peruvian surgeons as terrorists: “This is a crime against humanity. Guantanamo’s too good for these butchers.”

Ladies, if you believe you may be afflicted with gigantomastia, contact Bob Belvedere. You shouldn’t have to suffer alone . . .

Category: humor, National Offend a Feminist Week, Peru, Rule 5, Science

Comments

35 Responses to “Bob Belvedere Cancels Peru Trip”

  1. Ran / Si Vis Pacem
    May 7th, 2010 @ 11:25 am

    It’s Bob’s hands-on approach to problem solving we all appreciate…

  2. Ran / Si Vis Pacem
    May 7th, 2010 @ 6:25 am

    It’s Bob’s hands-on approach to problem solving we all appreciate…

  3. Unhand Those Major League Yabbos! « The Camp Of The Saints
    May 7th, 2010 @ 9:40 am

    […] League Yabbos! 07 May 2010 @ 10:40 by bobbelvedere Before your read the statement below, it is imperative that you click here and bring yourself up to speed on the background by reading Stacy McCain’s […]

  4. Bob Belvedere
    May 7th, 2010 @ 2:46 pm

    I would formally like to thank you Mr. McCain for covering this story fairly and objectifyingly.

    Those with evil intentions [ie: small chested women] who convince large chested ladies that they suffer from Bimboism and must, therefore, reduce the size of their whaazongas must be stopped!

    Robert ‘Bob’ Belvedere,
    President, Founder, and Chief Investigator
    Gigantomastia Society
    Address:
    Dave’s Adult Pornorama
    Behind The Green Door
    Murray, Pennsylvania, 82827

  5. Bob Belvedere
    May 7th, 2010 @ 9:46 am

    I would formally like to thank you Mr. McCain for covering this story fairly and objectifyingly.

    Those with evil intentions [ie: small chested women] who convince large chested ladies that they suffer from Bimboism and must, therefore, reduce the size of their whaazongas must be stopped!

    Robert ‘Bob’ Belvedere,
    President, Founder, and Chief Investigator
    Gigantomastia Society
    Address:
    Dave’s Adult Pornorama
    Behind The Green Door
    Murray, Pennsylvania, 82827

  6. Robert Stacy McCain
    May 7th, 2010 @ 4:21 pm

    I would formally like to thank you Mr. McCain for covering this story fairly and objectifyingly.

    Perhaps the Gigantomastia Society should consider a generous grant to the Divorce Prevention Fund.

  7. Robert Stacy McCain
    May 7th, 2010 @ 11:21 am

    I would formally like to thank you Mr. McCain for covering this story fairly and objectifyingly.

    Perhaps the Gigantomastia Society should consider a generous grant to the Divorce Prevention Fund.

  8. Roxeanne de Luca
    May 7th, 2010 @ 8:16 pm

    I guess I have to be the one to point it out, being one of the few women ’round these parts: 34B? Victoria’s Secret – and most manufacturers, except for Lane Bryant – make a whole line of clothing in the 34 band size. Why the almost child-like proportions?

  9. Roxeanne de Luca
    May 7th, 2010 @ 3:16 pm

    I guess I have to be the one to point it out, being one of the few women ’round these parts: 34B? Victoria’s Secret – and most manufacturers, except for Lane Bryant – make a whole line of clothing in the 34 band size. Why the almost child-like proportions?

  10. Robert Stacy McCain
    May 7th, 2010 @ 8:27 pm

    Roxeanne, most Peruvians are short. It may be that Ms. Manihuari is diminuitive in stature (perhaps no taller than 5 feet), thus explaining her relatively small frame — which certainly would have made life difficult with those ginormous boobs hanging down below her center of gravity, as it were.

    Now that I’m thinking about it, I’ve got to wonder if some environmental factor — a change in diet or something like that — triggered the onset of this woman’s gigantomastia. If scientists could isolate the cause . . .

    Well, best not to think out loud about such things. Some evil scientist will be inspired to develop a gigantomastia-inducing drug and next thing you know, every hooker in Vegas will be sporting Manihuari-sized boobs.

  11. Robert Stacy McCain
    May 7th, 2010 @ 3:27 pm

    Roxeanne, most Peruvians are short. It may be that Ms. Manihuari is diminuitive in stature (perhaps no taller than 5 feet), thus explaining her relatively small frame — which certainly would have made life difficult with those ginormous boobs hanging down below her center of gravity, as it were.

    Now that I’m thinking about it, I’ve got to wonder if some environmental factor — a change in diet or something like that — triggered the onset of this woman’s gigantomastia. If scientists could isolate the cause . . .

    Well, best not to think out loud about such things. Some evil scientist will be inspired to develop a gigantomastia-inducing drug and next thing you know, every hooker in Vegas will be sporting Manihuari-sized boobs.

  12. Lipton T. Bagg
    May 7th, 2010 @ 8:35 pm

    We at Viewed From The Right are sympathetic to Bob’s cause; noting he has the issue “well in hand(s)”.

    http://viewedfromtheright.blogspot.com/2010/05/tgif-whiskey-tango-foxtrot-edition.html

  13. Lipton T. Bagg
    May 7th, 2010 @ 3:35 pm

    We at Viewed From The Right are sympathetic to Bob’s cause; noting he has the issue “well in hand(s)”.

    http://viewedfromtheright.blogspot.com/2010/05/tgif-whiskey-tango-foxtrot-edition.html

  14. Bob Belvedere
    May 7th, 2010 @ 9:15 pm

    1) There are devices we have developed at the GS that make height irrelevant.

    2) If scientists could isolate the cause . . .

    Our researchers [no, really, they are actual, PhD-toting scientists, really!] are working hard [or is it ‘hardly working’?] on the matter. After all, our motto is Gigantomastia: And The Problem Is???.

    3)Some evil scientist will be inspired to develop a gigantomastia-inducing drug and next thing you know, every hooker in Vegas will be sporting Manihuari-sized boobs.

    And Bill Maher would be moving to Vegas. The good people of Crapsville don’t deserve that. That’s why we actively are hunting down each and every one of them and inviting them over to look at our videos.

    4) Roxeannne, in reply to you comments: Bring me another martini, sweetie, and make it dryer this time.

  15. Bob Belvedere
    May 7th, 2010 @ 4:15 pm

    1) There are devices we have developed at the GS that make height irrelevant.

    2) If scientists could isolate the cause . . .

    Our researchers [no, really, they are actual, PhD-toting scientists, really!] are working hard [or is it ‘hardly working’?] on the matter. After all, our motto is Gigantomastia: And The Problem Is???.

    3)Some evil scientist will be inspired to develop a gigantomastia-inducing drug and next thing you know, every hooker in Vegas will be sporting Manihuari-sized boobs.

    And Bill Maher would be moving to Vegas. The good people of Crapsville don’t deserve that. That’s why we actively are hunting down each and every one of them and inviting them over to look at our videos.

    4) Roxeannne, in reply to you comments: Bring me another martini, sweetie, and make it dryer this time.

  16. Robert Stacy McCain
    May 7th, 2010 @ 9:58 pm

    Bob, I know you like women with breasts like Goldman Sachs: Too big to fail.

  17. Robert Stacy McCain
    May 7th, 2010 @ 4:58 pm

    Bob, I know you like women with breasts like Goldman Sachs: Too big to fail.

  18. Bob Belvedere
    May 7th, 2010 @ 10:01 pm

    Abso-f’ing-lutely, Dr. McCain.

  19. Bob Belvedere
    May 7th, 2010 @ 5:01 pm

    Abso-f’ing-lutely, Dr. McCain.

  20. Lipton T. Bagg
    May 7th, 2010 @ 11:23 pm

    Bill Maher moving to Vegas? Tell me it isn’t so!

    With the current #1 resident of Searchlight about to become gainful unemployed, isn’t having Maher there redundant? Like bird crap on the Los Angeles Times?

    Just asking….

    -LTB

  21. Lipton T. Bagg
    May 7th, 2010 @ 6:23 pm

    Bill Maher moving to Vegas? Tell me it isn’t so!

    With the current #1 resident of Searchlight about to become gainful unemployed, isn’t having Maher there redundant? Like bird crap on the Los Angeles Times?

    Just asking….

    -LTB

  22. Roxeanne de Luca
    May 8th, 2010 @ 12:56 am

    I was being pragmatic: many women have a tough time finding adult clothing that fits properly if they are relatively flat-chested. Even the small sizes, which are built for women who have small frames, are pretty much made for women who have had kids and have filled out since the teen/early twenties years. I’m not questioning the need for the initial surgery, of course.

    Bob: I’m not going to get you a martini when Mrs. Belvedere so enjoys serving you! (Besides, I drink bourbon, not gin.)

  23. Roxeanne de Luca
    May 7th, 2010 @ 7:56 pm

    I was being pragmatic: many women have a tough time finding adult clothing that fits properly if they are relatively flat-chested. Even the small sizes, which are built for women who have small frames, are pretty much made for women who have had kids and have filled out since the teen/early twenties years. I’m not questioning the need for the initial surgery, of course.

    Bob: I’m not going to get you a martini when Mrs. Belvedere so enjoys serving you! (Besides, I drink bourbon, not gin.)

  24. Bob Belvedere
    May 8th, 2010 @ 1:57 am

    Stop yer yacking Roxe and get me a damn bourbon then. Yack, yack, yack – all you broads do is yack. Don’t forget I like it neat, okay sugar.

  25. Bob Belvedere
    May 7th, 2010 @ 8:57 pm

    Stop yer yacking Roxe and get me a damn bourbon then. Yack, yack, yack – all you broads do is yack. Don’t forget I like it neat, okay sugar.

  26. nicholas
    May 8th, 2010 @ 6:10 am

    I like your thinking, Roxeanne. Whatever the doctors were about when they tried to help her, taking her down to a size B cup was crossing the line. They’ll have to present that at conference and discuss how the whole thing went horribly wrong.

  27. nicholas
    May 8th, 2010 @ 1:10 am

    I like your thinking, Roxeanne. Whatever the doctors were about when they tried to help her, taking her down to a size B cup was crossing the line. They’ll have to present that at conference and discuss how the whole thing went horribly wrong.

  28. Bob Belvedere
    May 8th, 2010 @ 4:13 pm

    Nicholas: My organization be seeking an indictment on this in the World Court.

  29. Bob Belvedere
    May 8th, 2010 @ 11:13 am

    Nicholas: My organization be seeking an indictment on this in the World Court.

  30. Roxeanne de Luca
    May 8th, 2010 @ 5:34 pm

    And I like mine on the rocks or in a Manhattan. We’re never going to get along.

  31. Roxeanne de Luca
    May 8th, 2010 @ 12:34 pm

    And I like mine on the rocks or in a Manhattan. We’re never going to get along.

  32. Stogie
    May 8th, 2010 @ 5:55 pm

    It’s too bad the lady opted for the surgery. We could have used her for a bean bag! 🙂

  33. Stogie
    May 8th, 2010 @ 12:55 pm

    It’s too bad the lady opted for the surgery. We could have used her for a bean bag! 🙂

  34. eva
    June 21st, 2010 @ 4:11 am

    I am one of those women suffering of Gigantomastia. I am very in secured about my breast size every time someone ask me or I went out to buy a bra. I am Asian and stand only 5ft with a 42DD or E size now. I don’t want to measure since I am too horrified of what I become. Hopefully, our HMO will cover the operation, I will find out by thursday.

    Its not a joke and I really hate people who makes fun of this case. You have no idea how it affects a person psychologically when you are being viewed as a sex object or a center of cruel jokes. I had to learn to be mean as well since I’ve suffered a lot of embarrassment from men advances and women’s catty remarks.

    It just prove that some people lack compassion and education.

  35. eva
    June 21st, 2010 @ 12:11 am

    I am one of those women suffering of Gigantomastia. I am very in secured about my breast size every time someone ask me or I went out to buy a bra. I am Asian and stand only 5ft with a 42DD or E size now. I don’t want to measure since I am too horrified of what I become. Hopefully, our HMO will cover the operation, I will find out by thursday.

    Its not a joke and I really hate people who makes fun of this case. You have no idea how it affects a person psychologically when you are being viewed as a sex object or a center of cruel jokes. I had to learn to be mean as well since I’ve suffered a lot of embarrassment from men advances and women’s catty remarks.

    It just prove that some people lack compassion and education.