The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

The Protocols of the Elders of CTHULHU XIII. Choke Chains

Posted on | February 18, 2010 | Comments Off on The Protocols of the Elders of CTHULHU XIII. Choke Chains

by Smitty (INTRODUCTION)

The room was cold, with anemic fluorescent lighting. The sun was above the mountain, affording no heat through the window.

The meeting was a marathon of sorts. The speaker moved slowly, hypnotically back and forth. No sort of clock decorated the wall. The audience, shocked by the animation of the man they thought dead, and the ghoulish strangulation that followed, not to mention the squid in the fishbowl on the table looking at them with far, far too intelligent and malevolent eyes…
The calmness of the speakers words continued to grind down their sanity, as the growing storm of doom would grind down the world governments, and drive the world into the warm embrace of CTHULHU.
Some of the audience still seemed eager, thinking themselves to have much power in this new organization. I found myself casting my mind for a brief moment to those scoffed-at religious education classes, wondering whether a final answer would be known to me soon.
A fluorescent light bulb, like hope, wavered and died.

“We will offer continuous agitation: economic, military, legal, political, informational, social.
All of this agitation, like the noise and vibration of a long flight, will take its toll on our audience.
We can expect contingencies to arise, like rogue waves on the sea, nearly anywhere, anytime.
When that happens,

…immediately the press will distract the current thought towards new questions (have we not trained people always to be seeking something new?)

…

We are constantly making public declaration that we are guided in all our undertakings by the hope, joined to the conviction, that we are serving the common weal.

Other variations on this theme of claptrap include:
– Everything must support Progress!
– It’s the Right thing to do!
– Hope and Change!

Who will ever suspect then that all these peoples were stage-managed by us according to political plan which no one has so much as guessed at in the course of many centuries?

A conspiracy as vast as ours is unsustainable. Just ask us. We’ll cheerfully relate our failures to throw the opposition off track.”

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Category: Farce

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