Band at JSU Banned at LGF:
Time for a Neo-Confederate Music Fest!

Posted on | January 2, 2010 | 61 Comments

Fight on, fight on for ole Jax State
We’re proud that we’re from Alabama . . .

The lyrics of the fight song at my alma mater, Jacksonville (Ala.) State University, would almost certainly result in immediate banishment from Little Green Footballs.

“Proud that we’re from Alabama“? It would be worse than down-dinging a comment by Sharmuta.

The latest Johnsonoid insanity at LGF escaped my notice because of the new site launch. But we got linked by one of the commenters at an Ace of Spades thread discussing Charles Johnson’s latest madness. CJ accuses Jim Hoft of “a textbook case of libel” for a Gateway Pundit post that describes Johnson “Supporting Child Porn in Classrooms.”

This is another of those “Bwaaahahaha Heard ‘Round the World” moments of unintentional irony. Johnson, who called Pamela Geller a “poster girl for Eurofascists,” suddenly decides that he is the victim of defamation?

Tonight, Johnsonoia is all over Memeorandum — American Power,   iOwnTheWorld,  Weasel Zippers, JustOneMinute,  Snooper Report, Big Government and Conservatives for Palin — and I feel like I’m not doing enough to drive CJ nuts nuttier. When even Patterico is joining the LGF beatdown, if I’m not in on the action, it could erode my Right Wing Crazy-Hater street cred. So tonight I Twittered this:

Yeah. I’m considering posting something neo-Confederate just to distract CJ from Jim and Patterico ;=)

Hmmmm. It took me about two seconds to think to myself: Who  do I know that plays a really fine version of “Dixie”?  If you click “read more,” brace yourself for the finest sound on the planet. Ladies and gentlemen, the Jacksonville State University Marching Southerners!

First of all, notice that this video was recorded on the opening day of pre-season band camp — the Southerners hadn’t even started practicing for the season yet. They were just warming up on some of the band’s standard tunes, beginning with an a capella chorus of a Russian Orthodox chorale, “Salvation Is Created.”

So you’ve got the creationist/theocrat action, right off the bat. You just know Sarah Palin would dig it. (Palin’s collaborator Lynn Vincent attended Jax State, where she was news editor of the student newspaper, the Chanticleer.)

Next, it’s “Stars Fell On Alabama,” and you can ask anyone who has ever heard the Marching Southerners perform live, when they hit that opening fanfare, the sheer power of the low brass makes the bleachers rumble. And guess what? The original lyrics of the song were written by a Southerner whose family lived in Louisiana. But — bonus LGF hate points here — Mitchell Parrish’s name at birth was Michael Hyman Pashelinsky. He was Jewish! Just like Pamela Geller!

As we continue through the repertoire of oppression, we hear the aforementioned fight song, with lyrics like, “Courage, pride and honor will lead you on to victory.” Don’t you think Killgore Trout is probably just a wee bit suspicious about all these references to “pride”?  What kind of “pride” are they singing about down there in Alabama? Nudge, nudge.

Plus there’s the thing about “courage” and “honor,” quite possibly a reference to Jacksonville’s great Confederate hero, Maj. John Pelham. Just 20 years old when the War came, he left West Point and led J.E.B. Stuart’s famed Horse Artillery. With two cannon, Pelham stood off an entire division of Burnside’s army at Fredericksburg, earning high praise in Robert E. Lee official account of the battle, so that he is forever known as “The Gallant Pelham.” He was slain in a cavalry charge at Kelly’s Ford and is buried in the Jacksonville cemetery, not far from Alabama Highway 21, also known as Pelham Road.

The fight song is followed by a Jax State exclusive, “Southerners Special.” Anybody with an LGF Nirther Crazy-Hater Secret Decoder Ring can figure out why these Southerners think they’re special, right? Also, if you play the recording backwards, it says, “Global warming is a myth.”

Last — but by no means least — the Southerners play that notorious song beloved by every Vlaams Belang-embracing ultra-nationalist worldwide, the Horst Wessel Lied “Camptown Races” .  . . er, whatever. Kejda Gjermani hates it.

UPDATE 11:35 p.m. ET: Our new WordPress analytic software is so sophisticated, I can now tell you that Geert Wilders just spent 47 minutes listening to the Marching Southerners play “Dixie” over and over. And it brought tears of joy to his eyes.

UPDATE 11:51 p.m. ET: Breaking! Charles Johnson has seen this post, and Paco has the video of his reaction. It’s the strawberries!

UPDATE 1:45 a.m. 1/3: Taunted by my Twitter friends, I decided to add this video — 2 minutes and nine seconds of raw hate:

The Marching Ballerinas are JSU’s Ambassadors of Wholesome Down-Home Hotness. Here you see them performing at homecoming to Dr. Walters’ bouncy swing arrangement of “Quilting Party.” It ain’t homecoming at Jax State until the Ballerinas do their kickline routine on one of those Walters arrangements — “C’est Si Bon” was always my favorite, but “Quilting Party” is right up there.

Excuse the amateur video quality. No one will hit the tip jar hard enough for the producer of a certain highly-praised documentary to travel down home to get professional footage for “The Making of the Marching Ballerinas.” Nor could anyone ever hit the tip jar hard enough to get me out of the doghouse I’d be in after that trip . . .

UPDATE 2 a.m.: How much right-wing creationist theocratic crazy-hate can you handle? From the JSU Web site:

After football games when the Southerners perform their show post-game, before everyone disperses, the band members gather close in to the 50-yard line, put their arms around each other and sing an old gospel favorite . . .

Yeah, they not only play “Dixie,” they sing “I’ll Fly Away.” To say nothing of the shameless anti-feminist objectification of the Ballerinas. Let’s face it: I’m an alumnus of arguably the most politically incorrect state university on the planet.

Oh, and our mascot? Don’t tell PETA, but here’s the cheer:

With a big C, little O, C-K-S!
Jax State Gamecocks!
Oh, Hell, Yes!

Or, as the coeds used to write on their dorm-room windows with white shoe polish, “GO BIG COCKS!”

Keep your Harvard, your Cornell, your Yale and your Columbia. What kind of moron would want to go to those kind of Yankee places, when Jax State has so much to more to offer?

UPDATE 2:45 a.m.: Just so you don’t get the idea that all JSU coeds are high-kicking eye-candy, let me introduce you to Jax State undergraduate blogger Amanda Read, with an excerpt from her “about” page:

A 19 year old Christian homeschool graduate, I have been Classically educated . . .
I am now a college student majoring in History and minoring in Political Science at Jacksonville State University . . . My constant prayer is to glorify the LORD far beyond my finite imagination!

Oh, and Amanda’s on Twitter, where the other day she Tweeted this:

Listened to Rush since I was a toddler! RT @michellemalkin Prayers for Rush – http://michellemalkin.com/2009/12/30/prayers-for-rush/ #tcot

Amanda’s Tweeps include Jackie Seal and some guy named Greg McElroy. You probably haven’t heard of him, but he’s the guy who hands the ball to Mark Ingram.

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