The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

Announcement: OediPOTUS Wrecks

Posted on | December 1, 2009 | 4 Comments

by Smitty

This work modernizes the Sophocles classic Oedipus Rex, still an excellent read after these ~2,500 years. Give that URL glance, or this series may be slightly bewildering.

As your foremost source of cultural diversion, this blog takes pride in announcing the Porch Manqué Production of:

Scenes:

Characters:

(Alluded)
Jefferson Williams, OediPOTUS’s father, 42nd POTUS
Lucius Sphinxor, 43rd POTUS
Kerry Kennedy, foster father of OediPOTUS
Olga von Kleindrubble Kennedy, mother of OediPOTUS
Pettifogger, Vice President under Jefferson Williams.
Folderol, Vice President under OediPOTUS

(Actual)

OediPOTUS Wrecks, 44th POTUS
Cthulia Williams, widow of Jefferson, Secretary of State to OediPOTUS
Ramen Lewis Cyphre, OediPOTUS’s Chief of Staff
Hanah, palindromic source of mayhem
Matthew Olberchrist, fawning journalist
Sandy Hamburger, walking file cabinet
Dr. Esarhaddon Cyphre, brother of Ramen
Rosor, bored mastermind
Thomasina Helenson, queen of the press corps

Porch Manqué Productions has moved couch and chest freezer to make this the best possible collision of Greek tragedy and political farce. You can always tell how well you’ve accomplished the task by the intensity of the critics:

  • Sophocles: My work! My opus desecrated! Has this Smitty neither taste nor judgment?
  • Baldric: Next time Smitty thinks he has a cunning plan, assure him society’ll sooner see Sullivan sane.
  • Pontius Pilate: Note to self: wash hands, crucify, wash hands again.
  • William Shakespeare: He hath sought Puckish, and begat puke-ish.
  • Oscar Wilde: There is a fine line between delightfully clever and deserving cleaver. By the time it reaches Smitty, that line separates a morning star and a machete.
  • “Half-Cocked” Jack: Never has me inability to read been such a blessing.
  • Inspector Grimm: This hoity-toity, namby-pamby, colonoscopic colonial is stealing my lines!
  • Marcellus Wallace: Dis bitch is Pulp Fiction meets some medieval s**t meets mah man Obama. ‘Cept Pulp Fiction didn’t suck.
  • William Wallace: Speaking of medieval, the ending of Braveheart has a more pleasant face than this tripe.
  • Mike Wallace: Speaking of tripe, at last we have something so fantastic as to make 60 Minutes comparatively sane and realistic.
  • H. P. Lovecraft: Typically, consumption by Cthulhu diminishes literary output. Smitty writes on; fearless, mindless, soulless. Scientifically fascinating.
  • Rob Roy MacGregor: O! many a shaft, at random sent, Finds mark the archer little meant! A thousand words, at random spoken, Would improve upon this jackass jokin’!
  • John Wayne: You’ve got ta be kiddin’ me, pilgrim. Why, I haven’t seen a manure stream that bad since they drove a herd of diarrhetic cattle across the river feedin’ Michael Moore’s ranch, givin’ us Fahrenheit 9/11.
  • Spinal Tap: Smitty needs one.

OK, the John Wayne remark did hurt a little. But do come back and tell your friends. Stacy says that if we don’t do a quarter-million hits on this, he’s going to cut me back to half a pizza crust a day. Do not let this happen!

Copyright 2010, Christopher L. Smith

Category: Farce

Comments

4 Responses to “Announcement: OediPOTUS Wrecks”

  1. Announcement: Czar d’Oz : The Other McCain
    March 2nd, 2010 @ 9:44 pm

    […] couch, expelling a cloud of dust, through which cover at least two cats made their escape.“OediPOTUS Wrecks and Waiting for O-Dough were a train wreck followed by a volcanic eruption,” declared Stacy. […]

  2. In The Mail: My ‘Retire Jim Moran’ Bumper Sticker : The Other McCain
    May 26th, 2010 @ 6:44 am

    […] must be reversed if this country is to recover.The post you see in the pic is the announcement for OediPOTUS Wrecks, which read. var addthis_append_data='false';var addthis_language='en';var […]

  3. Announcement: Waiting For O-Dough : The Other McCain
    June 7th, 2010 @ 6:41 pm

    […] 2, 2009 | No Commentsby Smitty Flush, in the manner of a defective toilet, with the success of OediPOTUS Wrecks, Porch Manqué Productions and its publisher, The Other McCain, were poised to move forward with […]

  4. Unlike Stacy, Smitty Needs His Beauty Sleep : The Other McCain
    September 10th, 2010 @ 10:59 am

    […] Martin Smith mold. Unabashedly gushing, I allowed that The Idiossey had inspired me to write OediPOTUS Wrecks. Not to tout my own trash, mind you, but reality seems to be tending toward the deus ex machina at […]